Do You Still?
by yure-chan
Summary: Sequel to Remember Me. Kakashi has finally regained his memories.But his hesitancies has lead to his relationship with Iruka being declared officially over, though neither of them seems to be able to let it go. It's now up to Kakashi to salvage it back.
1. Chapter 1: Decided Departure

**A/N: And right, here's the promised sequel. And yes, just so no one would be confused, this story starts from the point after Kakashi has regained his memories. Or well, more or less. Thanks again to you guys who have supported the first part. This fic is dedicated to each and everyone of you. ^_^ ****Oh, in case I didn't mention it, the medic-nin in the first part, Kitou, he's really a character by Kishimoto-sama. His profile can be found in one of the data books.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, all characters here doesn't belong to me and no, I didn't make up any characters. All characters rights belongs to Kishimoto-sama.**

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Chapter 1: Decided Departure

Iruka stretched himself as he leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. Finally, all the works were done. He pushed back his chair and walked around the house.

Everything was in place. Everything was packed neatly and put away. The boxes sat in the corner of the living room, waiting to be moved. The furniture were straightened out and cleaned. The assignments had all been graded and put into his bag, waiting to be brought back to school. He studied the apartment and took in every single detail.

He wanted to keep it in his memories. This place where he had spent the last two years. He wanted to bring all the happy memories with him and leave the sad ones behind.

His stopped first at the kitchen. His fingers drifted across the spotless kitchen counter. A small smile found its way onto his lips. He could see himself standing by the stove cooking, and Kakashi beside him, trying to steal a bite or two. He would smack the jounin's hand and tried to keep him out of the kitchen and Kakashi would just laugh and hug him. Then, when Iruka started to look annoyed, Kakashi would always pacify him with a kiss.

Iruka felt his breath hitched at that memory. He could still feel the older man's lips on his. Still could feel the arms pulling him into a tight embrace. Still could hear those teasing words beside his ears. He wished that all these had never happened. At least if it hadn't, it wouldn't break him up so much inside just thinking of it.

His gaze drifted to the living room. The place where they would spend lounging together every night when Kakashi wasn't on a mission, just reading books or cuddling up with each other, relishing in the blissful moment. They would talk about the day's events, funny incidents, serious issues and every other single thing. No matter how stressful the day had been, Kakashi always had a way to make him laugh or feel at ease.

He turned and walked to the study, leaning against the doorframe. There was that table where he would sit grading assignments and Kakashi would always come in with a cup of tea for him. That chair beside the desk where Kakashi would always sit, reading his book, and waited till the chunin is done with his work, before he would drag the younger man to bed. That small couch against the wall, where Kakashi would sometimes doze off in while waiting for his lover to finish his work. No matter what the time was, Kakashi would never go to bed when Iruka was still awake.

Iruka smiled at the fond memories and walked over to the couch, plopping down in it, feeling the texture of the velvet cloth against his hands. He lay down, staring up at the white ceiling, thinking back on all those times when the older man would lay in the same spot, giving him warm smiles and loving gazes until fatigue took over. Despite the months of being unoccupied, the couch still smelt of the jounin. Iruka inhaled the scent and couldn't help the silent tears that rolled down his cheeks.

He lay there for a while more, before he swept away those tears with the back of his hand and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. This place will only exist in his memories from then on. He did not want to add on to his heartache by lingering around longer than he needs to.

The bedroom was next. He sat down on the bed and traced the patterns on the freshly changed sheets. This was the place where they spent most of their time together, just snuggling up to each other under those covers or having heated make-out sessions and the sex that came after that. The place where the jounin would hold him close and whisper sweet nothings. The place where they inhale each other's scent and made all those silly promises.

Iruka swallowed the lump in his throat. He turned to look out of the window, half expecting the jounin to jump right through it, like he did every time when he came home from a mission.

But Iruka knew better than to hope. His lover was gone and never coming back again.

He walked into the adjoining bathroom, making sure the fresh towels were up on the rack and that all the toiletries were stocked up. Kakashi would need all those toiletries to last him for a while, until he starts adjusting to not having Iruka around to take care of these things for him. Iruka pulled out the medic kit and made sure that all the medications and bandages are fully stocked up for the jounin's use.

He knew how much Kakashi hated the hospital and would rather bleed to death than stay in the infirmary. The older man would need all these medical items to tend to his own injuries. Iruka traced the items in the box one last time, knowing that he would never get to use it again to dress up Kakashi when he returns from a mission with fresh wounds.

When he was satisfied that everything was in place, he placed the kit back into the spot where he knew Kakashi would find it. He didn't actually know if the jounin would return to this apartment. But, it never hurts to be well-prepared.

Iruka left the bedroom and headed to the balcony. He sank down into the hammock chair and cuddled up to the pillow in it.

He closed his eyes and he could almost feel Kakashi's arms around him. He remembered those times when he lay on top of the jounin and just let those pale fingers run through his hair. On their free weekends, they would lay there for hours in the evening as they watched the orange sky turned dark. They would nap in each other's arms with the cool breeze blowing. They would lay there, counting the stars and talking about their dreams and their future.

Iruka felt his breath hitched as a sob rise in his throat.

There was a time when their future had been so beautifully crafted and every scene which they pictured had each other in it. Even with the uncertainties of their lives as shinobi, Kakashi had always promised to be there all the way.

Iruka lay there as he reminisced on all those sweet memories. He remembered those times when Kakashi often pop by at the academy or the mission room with lunch or dinner that the chunin had been too busy to get himself. The light chiding tone that the jounin used when Iruka skipped his meals. The frustrations and worrying looks Kakashi showed when Iruka fell sick. Those little conflicts that they had when they first moved in together and the sweet little notes that the older man would give Iruka later with an apology written on it.

Iruka stared wistfully into the dark sky. All these things would never happen again. He would have to learn all over again how to get on by himself. He would have to know how to comfort himself when he was sad or stressed. He would have to keep his own anger at check every single time someone made him angry. He would have to take care of himself when he fell sick.

But there's always an advantage to living alone. He wouldn't have to cook dinner for another person. He wouldn't have someone constantly scolding him for not taking care of himself. He wouldn't have to worry about another person's safety when that person is out on missions. He wouldn't have to bother about dressing up injuries or scrubbing off dirt and grime.

He gazed at the sky blankly.

He wouldn't have someone to come home to after a hard day at the academy or the mission room. He wouldn't have someone to listen to all his complains and calm him down. He wouldn't have someone who would always be there to give him a hug and assure him that everything is alright. He wouldn't have someone fussing over him and making sure that he is well-fed and well-rested. He wouldn't have someone waiting up for him while he grades assignments and tests.

He wouldn't have someone to call his love.

Iruka sobbed into the pillow. He had lost count on how many nights he had spent crying over a love that was lost. He still couldn't comprehend how it had all happened. All he knew was that, just weeks ago, Kakashi was still holding him so close and promising his love over and over again.

But he knew that he would have to be strong enough to move on. If Kakashi had, so would he. He let the tears fall from his eyes, quietly promising himself that this would be the last time he cry for himself and Kakashi.

=-=-=-=

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	2. Chapter 2: Officially Over

**A/N: And here's the next chapter. Thanks for all those reviews for the first chapter. I'm really glad you guys like it. I didn't really get the chance to thank all of you. But yes, all reviews are much appreciated.**

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Chapter 2: Officially Over

The classroom door slid open, making Iruka look up from the stack of assignments.

"Iruka!"

"Anko." Iruka smiled as he leaned back on his chair.

The purple-haired kunoichi ambled up to him and held out something for him, with a sad smile on her face. "All done. All the stuff have been shifted to your new apartment."

Iruka nodded and took the keys that the jounin held out. He smiled. "Thank you."

"Are you sure about this, Iruka?" Anko asked quietly as she clasped his shoulder. Iruka nodded with a determined smile on his face. Anko sighed.

"And you are just going to give up like that?"

Iruka looked out of the window where the sun shone through. "It's been two months, Anko. Two months since Tsunade-sama discovered the wrong medications that had been given to him. Two months since he told me that he would try to remember me. Two months since he started on that road to recovery and two months since I last saw him."

"Aren't you being a little too cruel to yourself?"

"I would be cruel to myself if I continue to stay there. That place brings back too many memories." Iruka sighed. "It's been a month since he regained his memories. But he hadn't been to look for me once. He isn't showing any signs of wanting to get back with me. Perhaps that should already hint something to me."

"Iruka, whatever it is, he owes you an explanation and I'm sure you want to know what's going on too. Perhaps you should look him up and talk to him?"

"I tried." Iruka fought to hold back the tears threatening to fall. "But he's avoiding me. I've been to his apartment, the memorial stone, the mission room, the training field, every single place. I can always sense him from a distance. But by the time I reach the place, he wouldn't be there. He would always sense me before I reach him and turn away from me."

He turned to look at his friend dejectedly. "It's officially over between us, Anko. Anyone can see that. Much as I would hate to let go, this is a decision that I would eventually have to make anyway."

Iruka pushed back his chair and walked over to the window, watching the children play outside. "It's not the end of the world. I will get on. I still have my work, my life and my friends. I still have Naruto, Sakura, you, Kurenai and all those others who care."

"You know, I would have hated Kakashi if it had been a two months back." Anko scratched her head. "But I kind of empathize with him now. Perhaps there are some reasons behind his actions?"

"That doesn't matter, Anko." Iruka turned to smile at his friend. "If he can't even sit down and talk things out with me, there's no point in forcing him to accept me into his life again. We will eventually just end up in another breakup if we get back together without first mending that crack. And by then, it would hurt even more."

"Iruka……" Anko sighed.

"I'm alright, Anko. Perhaps not totally fine now. But I will eventually be back to my old self." Iruka gave her a reassuring smile.

"I know you will. And we will be there to support you all the way." Anko brightened up a little.

"Thank you." Iruka laughed, glad that his friend wasn't going to continue probing into his decision.

The purple-haired kunoichi gave him a mischievous smirk. "Let's go for lunch!"

"I'm busy, Anko." Iruka pointed to the stacks of papers on his desk.

"Come on, you still got to eat." Anko grinned. "And we've got juicy news to share."

"Like what?" Iruka rolled his eyes.

"Like the results of the epic drama in Tsunade-sama's office two months back." Anko's eyes watched him intently. "The trial's over and they had finally got some form of closure."

Iruka sighed. "So they managed to get all the explanations out of him?"

"Yeah. They still can't believe it's not part of a big scam with another village to invade Konoha. That's why the entire questioning process took so long." Anko planted herself on the edge of the table and looked at Iruka seriously. "You know, Ruka, I was kinda thinking I shouldn't be telling you this. And your reaction just told me that I should have stuck to my original decision and kept quiet about it."

Iruka smiled. "Don't worry about it, Anko."

"It's all because of him that led to this deadlock between you and Kakashi." Anko fiddled with the hem of her jacket. "Things wouldn't have gone so bad if he hadn't given those wrong prescriptions to Kakashi and make his moods change faster than a chameleon changes colours."

"No, it's not his fault, Anko. Or well, perhaps partly." Iruka stared at his table. "But the consequences can't be pinned on him. After all, Kakashi and I were the ones who never got to talk about the problem and sort things out."

"Iruka……"

"I won't let it affect me, Anko." Iruka looked up with a smile. "Come on, didn't you say lunch?"

Anko managed a chuckle. "Yeah. Shall we go?"

"Of course. But before that, I need to go and finish up some things." The chunin turned to look at the keys in his hand.

=-=-=-=

"Alright, Kakashi. I see you are recovering well. The internal injuries are healed; your chakra flow has gotten smooth. And it seems to me that you have got most of your memories back." Tsunade folded her arms on the table and smiled at the jounin.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi bowed slightly.

"So, are you coping well with things?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Other than being bored and exceptionally bored, there's nothing else to cope with."

Tsunade sighed. "Fine, I get your point. You will be placed back in active duty in two days' time."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi smiled.

"But," Tsunade eyed him sternly. "You will start off with some light duties first. You haven't been moving around much for the last three months or so. Your body will be a little stiff. And adding on to that fact, you have been taking medications for a while. Your body will need some time to adjust."

Kakashi suppressed a groan. "Yes, Tsunade-sama."

"Good." Tsunade smiled with satisfaction. "So, how are things between you and Iruka?"

Kakashi turned silent. He stared past the Hokage to look out of the window. "The weather is pretty good today. Nice day for training. Perhaps I should –"

"Don't give me that, Hatake." Tsunade snapped. Then her gaze softened. "I heard from Asuma and Genma about you and Iruka. The two of you haven't been talking or seeing each other."

Kakashi did not answer. Tsunade sighed. "I don't like prying into your personal life. But Kakashi, you and Iruka are both subordinates that I value a lot. And I don't wish to see anything that upsets you both, if I can help it. I've seen how dedicated Iruka has been to you while you were in hospital and during that period when you lost your memories. You need to be fair to him."

"I know." Kakashi paused. "But……" He trailed off.

Tsunade shook her head in exasperation. "I know what you are thinking, Kakashi. But being guilty won't help things. What's done is already done. You can't change that fact. You need to salvage whatever is left. You've hurt him once when you lost your memories. No one is able to blame you for that. But now that you've regained all those lost years, are you going to push him away again?"

"I don't deserve him." Kakashi said quietly.

"That isn't up to you to decide alone, I think." Tsunade leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. "This is as much a decision of his as it is yours. And as far as I'm concerned, you two are a perfect match."

Kakashi sighed. He didn't need to hear reassurances from anybody else, much less the Hokage. He could handle his own problems and he was well aware of the entire situation.

He had hurt his lover. He had hurled abuse at him physically and emotionally. No matter what others tell him that it wasn't his fault and that it was due to the influence of the medicines that Kitou had given him, he couldn't wipe that guilt away. He didn't know how to face Iruka without thinking about all the hurt he had inflicted on the younger man. He didn't know how Iruka would see him now. He didn't know if going back to Iruka would be fair to the chunin after all those damages he had done.

"Kakashi, stop thinking about what has already been done. The hurt has been caused and words have been said. Iruka's heart has been wounded. No matter how much you don't wish for it now, you have already done him the injustice. What you need to do now is to heal that wound and make it right."

Tsunade leaned forward in her table. "I can heal all kinds of injuries, external and internal. But much as I would love to, I can't heal a wound that is embedded in the heart. Kakashi, I can't soothe the hurt in Iruka or you. No one else can. Only the two of you can heal each other. That is, if you still allow yourself to believe."

Kakashi shoved his hands into his pocket. "I know."

"I'm sure you know. You aren't called a genius for nothing, Kakashi. But the problem now is, whether you will put this knowledge into action." Tsunade drummed her fingers against the wooden table. "You need to start making up to him, for all those hurts he has been going through."

"I will."

"That's good. Well, is there anything else? Because I'm sure I won't be seeing you again until it's time for your next mission." Tsunade smiled.

Kakashi contemplated for a minute. "Well, actually, yes……"

"Well, brat, just say it."

"Tsunade-sama, I would like to make a request to step down for the time being from my role as Team Kakashi's leader." Kakashi eyed his superior.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "You are going to give up your team?"

"No." Kakashi sighed and rubbed the nape of his neck. "I need some time to sort out my thoughts."

Tsunade nodded in understanding. "Alright. I'm sure Yamato wouldn't mind filling in for the time being. He's been doing it for so long anyway and ANBU isn't exactly short on manpower to need him back. Go ahead and take a break from your team. When you are ready to reassume the role, tell me. Just don't take too long."

Kakashi smiled. "I know. Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade smirked and waved him off. "Now go back and get some rest."

Kakashi turned and strode out of the door.

When the door finally closed behind the jounin, Tsunade sighed.

This is going to be more difficult than she thought. The physical injuries may have been healed. But the mental scars will be there for a long time to come. She had thought that Kakashi was only feeling remorseful towards what he had done to Iruka. But now, it seems that the jounin isn't taking it easy on himself too when it comes to his team's torments during the period of his memory loss.

Tsunade shook her head. That brat would have to learn how to take things easy and know that no one, except himself, is blaming him for all the things that had happened.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi strode down the streets, deep in thoughts.

Tsunade was right. He had to face the problem sooner or later. He needs to be fair to Iruka and talk it out with him. And he will accept whatever Iruka has to propose, just so he could make it up to the chunin.

Even if the younger man initiates a breakup.

Kakashi couldn't deny the fact that he had hit his lover. Even if it was the one and only time, it was still abuse. The jounin couldn't face that, knowing that he had put that mental scar in Iruka. He wondered if they would be able to spend their times together like before, after so many things had happened.

He turned the corner and walked up the stairs to his apartment.

He would have to ask Iruka out soon. It's been two months since their last meeting at the Hokage's office, after Kitou's ploy had been discovered. He hadn't been to seen the chunin since and he was beginning to worry about just how Iruka is getting on.

Perhaps he could ask Asuma to help him arrange a meeting with Iruka. Perhaps he should just drop by at their apartment and ask for forgiveness. Perhaps he should just try to forget everything and work hard to salvage whatever is remaining of their relationship. Perhaps……

Kakashi's thoughts were disrupted when he noticed the white envelope lying outside his door. He raised an eyebrow and took a few quick strides towards it. He bent down to pick up the package.

There was a weight in it. He opened the door to his apartment and stepped in, all the while turning the envelope over, trying to see who it is from. He sat down on the couch and tossed his keys on the coffee table, before opening up the envelope and pulling out the contents.

And he felt his heart stopped and his throat constrict when he stared at the item in his hands. It was so familiar that it hurts.

It was a bunch of keys and tagged to it was a dolphin keychain. Kakashi felt the turmoil rising in him.

The keys had been returned. Those keys that he had given to Iruka when they bought that apartment to stay in together two years ago. The keys to their lives together and the love they had for each other. The keys to each other's heart and the silent promises to stay with each other for as long as time allows them.

Pale fingers traced the small keychain hanging from it. Kakashi recognized it. He had bought that for Iruka when he went to the Water Country for a mission a year ago. The inscriptions at the back of the delicately carved keychain were still clear. But the words were meaningless now. The proclamation had been callously thrown back in his face.

And it was his fault.

He clutched at the keys as he buried his face in his hands. There wasn't a need to look for Iruka anymore. He didn't need to face the music and trash things out with the chunin. He doesn't have to apologize and ask for forgiveness. He doesn't even have to figure out how he is going to face his lover after all the damages he had done.

Because the decision has been made. The line has been drawn. Iruka has come to a conclusion. He had returned the last thing that held them together. Iruka had locked Kakashi out of his life.

He didn't even hold back when Obito's eye started to cry, because he knew.

It is officially over between them.

=-=-=-=

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	3. Chapter 3: Shattered

**A/N: And here's the next chapter. I will try to update as much as I can over the weekend, coz I guess I will be pretty busy next week. But well, I'm still glad that this sequel is receiving great responses. Thanks to all of you. And I really didn't mean to break the two of them up. It's just how the plot is supposed to go. But well, I've promised many of you and I will promise again. I will try to make it turn out nice. ^_^**

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Chapter 3: Shattered

Iruka walked down the streets with Anko quietly after dropping off the keys at his ex-boyfriend's apartment. He was confused. What he did have been right isn't it? He had let go of Kakashi and saved both of them from further agony. He had given Kakashi the freedom that the older man had seemingly desired. He would be happy as long as the jounin was.

Then why was it that he felt his heart crumbling? Why was it that he no longer felt alive like before? He promised himself that he would move on, just like Kakashi had. So, why was it that he felt like his heart, spirit and body no longer belonged together, but exists as different entities instead?

"Iruka, are you alright?" Anko peered into the chunin's face, trying to read through his blank expression.

"Yes." Iruka said quietly.

Anko sighed and ran her fingers through her hair and tugged at her ponytail. Then, to Iruka's surprise, she suddenly grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a dark alley.

"Anko?"

"Ruka, look here, you still have a chance. You can still go back there and take back the keys. The two of you can still work things out. Hell, if he's still avoiding you, I will hunt him down to the ends of the earth and drag him back to meet you." Anko looked at him seriously. "You aren't willing to let go. Don't lie to yourself anymore. You won't get on like this."

"I'm trying, Anko. Stop harping on it." Iruka hissed as he turned away, trying to hide the tears welling in his eyes. "I'm trying to forget it. So, please, don't remind me anymore."

"No, Iruka. You won't be able to forget. Not like this. You aren't even getting over it the slightest bit. Tell me, how do you want to get on when you do not even have an answer to allay your questions? He means so much to you. Are you seriously going to just let go like that?"

Iruka bowed his head and stared at the ground. "Stop it, Anko."

"No! I'm going to knock some sense into both you and him. You need to work this out with him. Just say a word, Ruka, and I swear Genma and Asuma would drag him out to meet you. Why are you even torturing yourself like this?"

Iruka tore his gaze from the ground, the tears no longer held in constraint. He looked at Anko with eyes full of hurt and desperation. "So what do you want me to do even if I get to see him? Beg him? Hound him down? Tell him that I will never let go even if he does? What do you want me to do? Can't you see that he has already moved on? He doesn't need me in his life anymore! If he does, why hasn't he been to see me at all? He has regained his memories, Anko. He has regained all of it! If he even still cares about me, he would have come to see me!"

"Iruka, I'm sure he has his reasons for avoiding you. Kakashi loves you and you know that! How can a temporary memory loss just wipe out his feelings for you like that?"

"Apparently it had! Perhaps all along, he had never loved me at all. He just stayed with me because of a mere responsibility. And when the memory loss came, it was a good excuse to get away from me!" Iruka spat resentfully. He hated himself for even thinking that way. There was no denying that Kakashi had indeed been a loving boyfriend. But, he could find no other ways to stop himself from hoping any further.

"You are being irrational, Iruka." Anko said quietly.

"You are so damn right. I've been irrational for most my life. I'm irrational when I fell in love with him. I'm irrational when I allow myself to turn vulnerable and enter that relationship. I'm irrational when I thought we would have a happy ending like so many couples out there and I'm irrational for still hoping, even when everything seems hopeless. I'm irrational for even thinking that I, as a chunin, can match up to the great copy nin of Konoha!" Tears streaked down the tanned cheeks. Anko fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Ruka, don't say that. You are being unfair to both you and him. I don't think he ever thought it that way."

Iruka put up a hand to stop his friend from talking further. He took in a deep breath and shook his head sadly. "I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to think about what he thinks of me. That's all in the past. It's over." He choked out. "I just want to treat this whole thing as a nightmare and when I wake up, everything will be fine. It will be back to the time when he and I never met. We never entered a relationship and we each have our own lives to get on. So Anko, you will be helping if you would just stop reminding me about the pain."

There was a moment of silence. And then, the kunoichi sighed. "I'm sorry." Anko eyed her friend guiltily. "But I just don't want to see you so upset, Iruka."

"I know." The brunette took in another deep breath to calm himself. "I'm sorry, Anko. I shouldn't have lost it on you. You are right. I'm not willing to let go. But I have to. Even if not for him, I would have to do it for my own sake. I don't think I will be able to stand hanging on to a relationship that isn't there anymore."

Anko nodded in understanding and she pulled him into a comforting hug. They stood there for a moment before Anko pulled back and tugged at the chunin's hand to lead him back into the streets. "Come on, let's go for lunch. Kurenai and the others are waiting for us."

=-=-=-=

The sky was blue. The lake was clear. Fishes were swimming so carefree in the water. The lush green plain was cooling, with the breeze that was blowing across.

Kakashi stared blankly at the meandering water, edging its way down the path that had been set for it.

"Nice weather, isn't it?" A voice came up behind him. Kakashi grunted.

"What do you want, Asuma?"

"Hey, be nicer to me, will you? I thought you had regained your memories." Asuma snorted as he sat down beside the silver-haired jounin and lit up his cigarette.

"I'm still in the midst of recovering. And I so happen can't recall the part where I have ever been nice to you." Kakashi threw a glance at the man with a bitter smile. "So what is it?"

"Well, nothing much. I just thought you would like to join me for lunch."

"Not today." Kakashi turned back to staring at the water.

"Hey, something wrong?" Asuma frowned. Kakashi shook his head.

Asuma sighed. "There's no use moping here, you know. What is so difficult to just go to him and talk things out? It's not like the two of you haven't had any quarrels before."

"There's no point in talking about it anymore." Kakashi said quietly. "I've lost my only chance to make amends."

Asuma startled. Then he studied the other man. "Something happened between the two of you?"

Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes. "It's over."

Asuma's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's over, Asuma." Kakashi reached into his jacket's pocket and pulled out a bunch of keys, staring at it blankly. "He returned the keys to our apartment."

"Kakashi, this is not funny."

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Kakashi turned to stare up into the sky. "He wiped me out of his life, just like I wiped him from my memories weeks ago. I'm just getting what I deserved." Then he added softly. "I've hurt him too deeply."

"That wasn't your fault, Kakashi." Asuma pointed out. "At least not for the most part of it."

"That doesn't make me any less guilty." Kakashi gritted out. "When I think back to those times when I denied our relationship and threw insulting remarks at him, it just reminded me on how much I've hurt him. Over and over again, I broke his heart. But he never gave up on me. And what did I do? I hit him! I hit him, Asuma. Can you believe that?"

"Kakashi, Iruka understands. He knows why you weren't yourself. He will forgive you if you just look him up now and apologise."

"I won't be able to forgive myself." Kakashi said wistfully. "I don't even know how to face him now. Not after all that I've said and done." He sighed. "Perhaps it's a good thing that we end this. He will be able to find someone else who can take better care of him. He would be better off than sticking around with someone like me."

"You are hopeless." Asuma shook his head.

"Isn't that better than being hopeful? At least it will stop me from hounding Iruka down and prevent him from finding his own happiness."

"And what makes you think that he would look for one just because the two of you broke up?"

"He deserves it." Kakashi muttered absently as he plucked at the grass. "He deserves his own happiness. And I'm not part of it."

"You are making decisions for him, Hatake." Asuma snorted. "Perhaps you should really find out what he is thinking before you jump to any conclusions. Returning you the keys doesn't mean that he won't listen to you explain. You may still be able to salvage it."

"I don't want to hold him back anymore."

"Kakashi, you are contradicting yourself, do you know that?" Asuma took a puff from his cigarette and gave the man beside him a disgruntled look. "Here you say you are alright with letting him go. But you know better than me that deep down, you will never move on without him."

Kakashi was silent. Asuma sighed again and stood up, preparing to leave the man alone to his own thoughts. "Kakashi, I really hope you will think this through. It's not worth giving up a two years' relationship over a stupid accident."

The man turned on his heels and left the silver-haired jounin. Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes.

'_It's not worth it. But there's nothing else I can do.'_

=-=-=-=

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To eve: Well, I guess it's a quirk of mine. If I write stories that ended up having too many chapters, I would lose track on what I am actually writing. And for Remember Me and this story, they are based on different plots. It will be pretty confusing if I skip in between scenes and a sequel will allow me to explore it even more.

To somebody: Thanks. I'm glad that you like this fic. I didn't really intend it to be an angst. But I guess, it still turns out that way.

To sharinganwarrior20: There will definitely be more chapters coming up. Thanks for your review!

To heather: Yes, Kakashi and Iruka both need a big hug and some cuddling to assure them that everything is alright. But I guess, we can all only be spectators. ^_^ I'm glad you like Remember Me and definitely happy that you are following the sequel. I just hope I won't fall short of your expectations.


	4. Chapter 4: Giving Up

**A/N: And right, here's the next chapter. I did promise that I will try to update more over the weekend. But I guess I can only manage this chapter for now. ^_^ So, enjoy!**

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Chapter 4: Giving Up

Asuma muttered under his breath as he walked down the streets.

"Asuma!"

The bearded jounin turned around irritably and glared at the source of voice.

Genma grinned at him a distance away. Raidou smacked a hand on his face in exasperation. Around them, people were staring, wondering what that exuberant greeting was about.

"What is it?" He scowled as Genma approached him.

"Where are you going?" Genma rolled the senbon in his mouth.

"Getting lunch." Asuma muttered under his breath and turned away.

"Woah…… You are in a bad mood. That's rare." Genma smirked. "Join us. Raidou is meeting Anko for lunch, so we can all go together."

Asuma raised an eyebrow. "What? Another gossip session?"

Raidou tsked. "No!"

"Well, Anko said that the trial of that medic-nin has already come to an end. A conclusion has been reached by the council and the interrogation team. She's filling us in on the details." Genma interrupted.

Asuma rolled his eyes. "So that is why Kurenai was so enthusiastic about meeting up with Anko as well." He rubbed his forehead exasperatedly. "There _is_ another gossip session."

"Well, aren't you interested to find out what happened to that guy who caused Kakashi so much trouble?" Genma slung an arm over his friend's shoulder.

"No. The only thing that matters is that Kakashi is alright." Asuma said curtly. "But I wouldn't mind having some company for lunch."

"Come on then." Genma pulled his friend hurriedly down the streets as Raidou trailed along beside him. "So, what got you so heated up?"

Asuma rolled his eyes again. "I was just talking to a mule, trying to convince him to apologize to his boyfriend and make amends to salvage the relationship. And as I was thinking about how to help him, some idiot just had to disrupt my thoughts with an exceptionally loud greeting."

Genma groaned. "How the hell am I supposed to know you were deep in thoughts?" Then he looked amused. "So, you spoke to Kakashi? How was it?"

Asuma paused in his steps and looked at Genma grimly. "Bad."

Genma frowned. "Why? He's not listening? He's not going to apologize? Can't he stop being so stubborn for once?"

Asuma sighed. "No, I think he would do it if he could."

"And?" Genma glanced at him expectantly.

"Well, I think this is going to be harder than all of us think." Asuma dropped his cigarette to the ground and stepped on it, snuffing the fire out.

"What do you mean?" Genma folded his arms and waited. Raidou stood beside him, eyeing the bearded jounin curiously.

Asuma stared at the two of them and then dropped his gaze in defeat.

"It's over between them."

=-=-=-=

Kurenai stared at the tea in front of her. Yamato stretched and yawned. Sakura and Naruto looked around the restaurant in boredom.

"Just where the hell are they?" Naruto groaned. Kurenai sighed. Yamato rolled his eyes. Sakura shrugged.

"We've been waiting for half an hour. Are they even intending to turn up?" Sakura moaned.

"Anko went to look for Iruka. Perhaps he's held up at the academy. But I can't believe Raidou. He's late too!" Kurenai frowned.

Yamato perked up suddenly. "They are here."

"Who?" Kurenai asked without bothering to turn around.

"Genma-san, Raidou-san and Asuma-sensei." Sakura volunteered the answer in a slightly cheerful tone.

"Asuma? I thought he wasn't interested? I asked him along to join me and he declined, saying he would rather go lunch with Kakashi." Kurenai frowned.

"Well, he's here." Yamato chuckled. "But I don't see Kakashi-senpai anywhere."

"Hi, guys." Raidou greeted in a quiet tone. The four at the table were slightly taken aback by the sullen expression on the three men's faces.

"Uh, something happened?" Yamato quirked an eyebrow. The others looked at them curiously.

The three exchanged glances. Then, Asuma looked away. Raidou shook his head. Genma shrugged and slumped down in an empty seat.

"Just what is up?" Kurenai eyed them strangely. "It's not like the three of you to not say anything."

Genma sighed. Then he rubbed his face and stared at the others around the table.

"Well, I'm sure you guys do not know this yet. Shocking news, if you ask me. Though not totally unexpected."

"Just what is it?" Sakura frowned.

"Kakashi and Iruka have parted ways." Raidou sighed deeply.

All of them gaped at the news. Naruto blinked dumbly

"Meaning……" Yamato asked uncertainly.

Asuma sighed and sank down into the empty seat beside Kurenai. "Yes. Meaning they have broken up. Ended their relationship. Left each other. Whichever way you want to put it."

"But, what happened?" Kurenai couldn't get over her shock.

"Beats me." Asuma shrugged. "All I knew was that, when I went to look for Kakashi earlier, he told me that it was all over. He said Iruka had returned the keys to their shared apartment."

"And Kakashi-sensei isn't going to do anything about it?" Sakura asked as she tried to process the fact into her mind.

Asuma shrugged. "He's taking himself on a long guilt trip. You will have to wait till he gets over that guilt of having hurt Iruka before he would start thinking about what he is going to do. And I dare say, that will be a long time off. By then, who knows, maybe he would have lost Iruka for good."

All of them were silent.

"How is Kakashi now?" Kurenai asked quietly. Asuma shook his head.

"How should I put it? Well, I've never exactly seen him like this before. I can't say he's depressed. But he looks despondent enough. He seems to be resigned to the fact." Asuma sighed.

"Resigned?" Naruto stared at him incredulously. "How can he be resigned to it when he hasn't even spoken to Iruka-sensei?"

"I've got a good guess that he's haunted by the events of the last few weeks. The last time I spoke to him, some time two days back, he can't seem to get over the fact that he had physically abused Iruka. That is why I think he isn't going to do anything. Knowing him, he probably thinks this is for the best. I don't think he knows how to face Iruka." Genma shook his head exasperatedly.

A dry cough brought them out of their small conversation. All heads turned to see an irritated looking Anko and a forlorn Iruka.

"Oh, uh, you guys are here." Kurenai tensed. She didn't know how long the two had been standing there or how much they had heard. But from the look on Iruka's face, she guessed that they had probably overheard the entire exchange.

"Talk about discreet." Anko scowled. "You guys are discussing private affairs here in public."

"Like you don't?" Genma snorted. Anko glared at him.

"Are you alright, Iruka?" Kurenai watched as the chunin sat down beside Naruto. He nodded.

"Yes." Iruka smiled weakly.

"Iruka-sensei, why didn't you tell me?" Naruto pouted. Sakura groaned at her teammate's insensitivity.

Iruka ruffled the blond locks fondly. "I didn't want too many people to find out yet."

"Sorry, Iruka. We didn't mean to pry." Genma actually looked guilty. Iruka shook his head.

"It's fine. It's bound to get out soon."

Kurenai sighed. "So we heard that you've moved out?"

Iruka nodded. "Yes. I've rented another apartment. Anko, Kotetsu and Izumo helped me to shift my things out this morning."

"Hey, can you guys stop this interrogating session?" Anko scowled. "That's not our purpose for meeting, is it?"

Iruka smiled at his friend's attempt to steer attention away from him. Kurenai sighed audibly and rolled her eyes. "Alright, let's order some food and Anko can start with her story."

The serpent user smirked. Then, she shot a worried glance at Iruka. The chunin nodded his head and gave her a reassuring smile.

=-=-=-=

The rain came unexpectedly. One minute, the sun was blazing through the streets and the next, dark clouds covered the blue sky and within seconds the storm had sent shinobi and civilian alike running for shelter.

A man stood at the memorial stone, not paying any heed to the heavy pelts of raindrops. The fingers traced along some wordings engraved on the piece of marble.

"I screwed it up, didn't I?" A self-loathing voice echoed in the silent area. "You must be laughing somewhere there, Obito. I know what you will say. A person like me will never succeed in anything to do with bonding, because I will never understand the complications behind emotions.'

A dry laugh. "You are so damn right. I've failed my father, you, Rin and sensei. I couldn't save any of you. I've failed my team as a leader. I couldn't give them the knowledge and training that they needed. I've failed Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. I couldn't even keep them all intact. And I failed the very first relationship that I got myself into. I've failed Iruka. I couldn't give him the security and happiness that he needs."

Kakashi ran a hand through his silvery strands. "I can't even do anything to stop this from happening. I don't even have the courage to face him. I don't even have a good enough reason to stop him from leaving." The jounin swallowed hard, trying to will the raging emotions away.

"This will be the last, Obito." Kakashi closed his eyes, the water dripping from his hair onto his face. "This will be the last bonding that I will ever have. If I have failed so many times, then perhaps, I should already take the hint that I'm not destined to have any. Even if I were to make new ones, I will still end up failing them. If there isn't one to last me till the end, then I would rather there isn't one to start with."

=-=-=-=

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	5. Chapter 5: Abandoned

**A/N: And here you go, the next chapter. Well, I did try my best to try and update. But I guess this is all I can manage, though the next chapter is almost completed and I will be able to upload it tomorrow. Yup. Hope you enjoy this. Thanks to everyone for your previous reviews, I'm glad that this fic is being appreciated. ^_^**

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Chapter 5: Abandoned

Genma turned and looked out of the window in the restaurant.

"It's raining."

Anko paused in the middle of her story and looked out as well. "That's nothing new. The weather's been pretty weird lately. One minute, it will be blazing hot, and the next, it will be raining."

Kurenai frowned at the distraction from the topic which they had been discussing here. "Hey, get back here. Anko, back to your story. Are you sure that's what happened?" The genjutsu user raised an eyebrow.

Anko's attention snapped back to the group. "Of course. I have first hand information. Kitou confessed to trying to numb Kakashi's mind because he wanted Kakashi to forget about Iruka." The purple-haired kunoichi recounted. "And after that, when Iruka can't take it anymore and leaves Kakashi, he will go ahead and court him."

Raidou snorted. "That's low."

Sakura nodded in agreement.

Iruka sighed. "That was such a reckless act. He could have really killed him."

Naruto scowled. "I should have beaten him up then for trying to harm Kakashi-sensei."

"Well, he told the interrogators that he didn't realize the adverse effects of those pills. And from what I heard, he doesn't seem to be lying. I seriously wondered how he made it to become a medic-nin." Anko grimaced. "I wouldn't feel safe leaving my life in his hands if I were a patient."

Sakura shook her head. "If it hadn't been for him, so many things wouldn't have happened." She stole a glance at the academy teacher.

Iruka stared at the table. Much as he was uncomfortable about listening something regarding his ex-lover, he wanted to know the reason why Kitou would prescribe the wrong medications to Kakashi deliberately. And now, knowing that it was because of him, he couldn't help feeling guilty.

"Iruka, are you alright?" Yamato frowned when he noticed the dazed look on the chunin's face.

The chunin turned to look at him. "Uh, yes." He tilted his head slightly and looked out of the window. "The rain is letting down. I need to get going. There are still some assignments that need to be graded."

"I will go with you, Iruka-sensei." Naruto jumped from his seat.

Sakura smiled and pushed back her chair. "I need to get going too. I will leave with you guys."

Iruka nodded. "Let's go then."

"Take care, Iruka!" Anko lifted her hand and waved goodbye.

The group of jounin watched as the trio retreated from the place. When the three were finally out of sight, the group of jounin eyed each other wearily.

"Do you think Iruka is taking it well?" Kurenai finally asked exasperatedly.

"No." Anko sighed. "But he's trying to."

"What are the two of them thinking exactly?" Raidou shook his head.

"I didn't expect them to end just like that." Yamato mused.

"We can all see that they care for each other. But they are keeping quiet about all the problems and thinking that by letting the other go, they are doing the other justice." Asuma sighed.

"Do you think there's anything we can help them?" Genma frowned.

"I wish." Anko muttered. "I hate seeing Iruka so down."

=-=-=-=

"What?" Naruto stared at the lady in front of him incredulously.

"It is just as what I said. Yamato will be taking your team from now onwards." Tsunade did not look up from the file she was reading.

"But isn't Kakashi-sensei already back on active duty?" Sakura frowned.

"He is." Tsunade flipped another page in the file.

"Then why isn't he taking us instead?" Naruto folded his arms. "We are supposed to be Team Kakashi isn't it?"

"Do you not like working with Yamato?" The blond lady finally glanced up to regard the two teens.

"It's not that, Tsunade-sama. It's just that, we have a better rapport with Kakashi-sensei. And we haven't been seeing him for a while. So we thought it would be nice if we could go on the next mission with him." Sakura bit her bottom lip in nervousness.

"I see you two are pretty attached to him." Tsunade sighed and put down the file. "Then, I think I will need to give you a good explanation on why Kakashi isn't taking your team."

Sakura nodded. Naruto's face scrunched up in dissatisfaction.

"For starters, Kakashi is just back on active duty. He will be doing something light for the time being, until his body adjusts back to what it used to be. So, going on missions with the two of you and Yamato or Sai is out of question. Unless you two want to go on some D-rank mission, or do night patrol."

Naruto shook his head frantically. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Secondly……" Tsunade paused, wondering if she should tell them the truth. It would be unfair if they did not know the reason why Kakashi isn't back to join them and they are being so concerned about the jounin. She sighed. "Secondly, Kakashi has some things he needs to sort out. So, he won't be taking your team for a while. He's temporarily stepping down as your squad leader."

Naruto's eyes widened. Sakura blinked.

"He's abandoning us?" Naruto clenched his fists.

"Don't make it sound so bad." Tsunade sighed. "It's just for the time being, until he re-orientates himself."

"When will he be back?" Sakura asked nervously.

"I have no answer to that." Tsunade propped her elbows on the table and laced her fingers together. She eyed the two teens. "He will let me know when he is ready to take back your team."

"He……" Sakura hesitated. Tsunade raised an eyebrow and waved for her to continue.

"He's having problems now, isn't he?" Sakura fidgeted under the Hokage's gaze.

"Sort of." Tsunade rubbed her temples. "He needs some time to think things through. And until then, he is not in the right mental state to take on any teams for missions."

The room turned silent after that. No one said a word. Sakura eyed her teammate tentatively.

Naruto took a while to process the bit of information before he finally looked up. "You know, no matter how Kakashi-sensei can be a jerk sometimes, he is still the best teacher and leader that I have ever known. I would rather that we work together on some lame D-rank missions than go on a high rank mission without him."

Tsunade was surprised. Sakura stared at him with new-found admiration. But Naruto merely shook his head as he turned around and walked towards the door.

His hand reached for the door knob and he paused. And then, he spoke softly. "I wouldn't exactly mind weeding gardens or walking dogs as long as it is Kakashi-sensei who is leading the team." With that, he trudged out of the room dejectedly.

Tsunade and Sakura watched as the forlorn teen made his way out of the room. The older lady sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I will go and take a look at him, Tsunade-sama." Sakura bowed politely and prepared to retreat from the room.

"Sakura, tell Naruto not to worry. I will talk to Kakashi and make sure that he will take on your team as soon as his body recovers from the months of inactivity." Tsunade gave her a grim expression. Sakura nodded and left.

Tsunade swirled her chair towards the window and stared up into the sky.

'_That brat. He is lucky to have these kids who admire and respect him so much. He better know how to appreciate it.'_

=-=-=-=

"Naruto, are you even going to talk?" Shikamaru groaned. "I hope you didn't ask us out just to watch you mope."

Kiba slung an arm across his friend's shoulders. "What happened, Naruto?" It just wasn't like the blond to be so quiet.

Naruto just shook his head tiredly and folded his arms on the table, resting his head on them.

The table was quiet, except for the munching sounds of potato chips from Choji. Shikamaru rolled his eyes in exasperation. Kiba shook his head and took a sip out of his tea.

And then, Naruto mumbled miserably. "Another one gone. No one will stick around me long enough."

"What are you talking about?" Choji asked as he shoved another handful of chips into his mouth.

"First Sasuke, now him. Will Sakura-chan be next?" The teen continued mumbling. The other three at the table exchanged worried glances.

"Hey pal, just what is wrong with you?" Kiba frowned.

"Everything." Naruto buried his face into his folded arms. "Everything is wrong. Everyone hates me."

"Wha –?" Kiba blinked and looked at Shikamaru dumbly. The dark-haired boy raised an eyebrow.

"I thought he passed that stage of depression a long time ago." Shikamaru mused.

"Naruto!" A voice came from behind the blond boy, but he did not turn to look. He did not even stir. Kiba, who was sitting beside him, snorted and whirled around to see who it was.

"Sakura?"

"Oh man, this is getting troublesome." Shikamaru muttered as he propped an elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand.

"Naruto, I've been looking for you for the last half an hour. So this is where you have been." Sakura frowned and placed a hand on her hips. Then she noticed the slumped position of her teammate and she sighed. She moved next to Naruto and sat down beside him, placing a gentle hand on his back.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto."

"I don't get it. Why would he want to abandon us?" Naruto's muffled voice came from between his arms.

"He's not abandoning us. Tsunade-sama said she will talk to him."

"I'm not that dense, Sakura-chan. I know he's going to leave us alone! Just like Sasuke did."

Shikamaru, Choji and Kiba exchanged bewildered looks.

"No, Naruto. He won't leave us. We are a team. He will stick it through with us."

The blond boy finally sat up and eyed his teammate intently. "Then why he isn't he taking back our team? Why does he have to wait? Why didn't Tsunade baa-chan has an answer for us on when he will be back?"

Sakura blinked. Damn that Naruto. He can be so perceptive at times.

Naruto stood up and stepped away from his seat. Shoving his hands into his pocket, he sighed deeply and walked out of the shop.

"Naruto, where are you going?" Choji called.

"For a walk."

Four pairs of eyes followed as the blond trudged out of the place without another word. Finally, when the silhouette disappeared onto the streets, Shikamaru turned back to the table and looked at Sakura.

"Now, before all of us are thrown into further confusion, do you mind enlightening us?"

=-=-=-=

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	6. Chapter 6: The Decision

**A/N: And here you go. I would like to thank all those who have given your reviews. I couldn't reply to all of you, but I still appreciate those encouragements and feedbacks that you gave me. And for those whom I couldn't reply to, because you didn't use your ff account or doesn't have one, I would love to say a big thank you to you. Wasn't able to thank you and answer your questions personally. But I'm glad all the same that you are enjoying the story.**

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Chapter 6: The Decision

Tsunade looked at the man in front of him, wondering if she had heard right.

"What did you just say?"

"I want to go back to ANBU."

"And your reason for that?"

"It suits me better."

"I hope you heard me three days back when I said you need to go on light duty." Tsunade frowned.

"I heard you right. After my light duties have ended, I want to go back to ANBU." Kakashi stated, with a passive look in his single eye.

Tsunade growled under her breath. "Hatake Kakashi, if you are not going to give me a good enough reason, then you can forget about me conceding to your request."

"I said it will suit me better." Kakashi was unfazed. "I'm more accustomed to the way ANBU works."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "And why would you think that? What about Naruto and Sakura?"

"They will do much better under Yamato." Kakashi let out a tired sigh. "Together with Sai, they are able to form a four-man team. I won't be necessary."

"Kakashi, then I will have you know this. Sakura and Naruto came to me yesterday to ask about you. They still see you as their squad leader. They demand to know why you aren't the one to lead the team when you are back on active duty. You said you need some time to think things through, and I gave it to you. And now, you are coming back to me with this kind of request?" Tsunade's voice hinted anger.

"Tsunade-sama……" Kakashi started.

The door crashed open, disrupting the discussion. Tsunade's eyes shot dangerously at the person walking in.

"Hey, haven't seen you in a while. I hope you are doing fine." Jiraiya grinned smugly as he strode into the room. Tsunade scowled.

"Do you mind to at least knock the next time?" She snarled. Jiraiya shrugged. Then he caught sight of Kakashi. He walked over to the younger man and placed a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"Kakashi, I hope you are feeling better now. I heard about your situation a few weeks back and I'm glad you are recovering."

Kakashi nodded.

"Tsunade, I have something that I need to talk to you about." Jiraiya turned to the Hokage fuming at her desk.

Tsunade glared at him. Then she turned to Kakashi. "You have one month to adjust before I will allow you to go back on missions. Take the time and think about your own decision. I hope by the time you come back to me, you will have thought things through carefully. Now go, and leave me alone."

Kakashi sighed and left the room. The moment the door closed behind him, Jiraiya turned to the blond lady.

"What got you so exasperated?"

Tsunade rubbed her temple. "He wants to go back to ANBU."

Jiraiya's eyes widened. "That's a surprise. So are you going to consider his request?"

Tsunade looked at him tiredly. "Do you think I should?"

"Why not?" Jiraiya shrugged. "He has the speed and the skills and he's done it before."

"Yes. I agree that ANBU would benefit with someone like him. But you should know the reason why Sarutobi-sensei pulled him out of ANBU all those years ago."

"He was worried that Kakashi would become too emotionally detached. But well, I see that the years have done him some good. Isn't he in a relationship now? With Iruka, isn't it?" Jiraiya chuckled.

Tsunade looked at him and then shook her head and stared at an open file on her desk. "From what I know, things are going on bad between them."

"How bad?"

Tsunade sighed. "That doesn't matter. Why are you looking for me anyway?"

Jiraiya pulled out a report from his vest and placed it on the table in front of Tsunade. "An update on Akatsuki."

"You found out something?"

"Plenty. When you read the report, you will understand." Jiraiya nodded towards the folder.

"When are you planning to head out again?" Tsunade asked as she flipped the report.

"In another two to three weeks' time. Wait till they settle down first, then infiltrate their territory to gather more information."

Tsunade put down the report and glanced at her friend. "Since you will be free till then, try to talk to Kakashi. I think he listens to you more than anyone else."

"What's wrong with him?" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow.

"He's not himself after that incident where he lost his memories. He's suddenly acting very distant to everyone around him. I'm worried." Tsunade shook her head. "I don't know what he's thinking. But it seems to me that he is much more apathetic than those days when he was in ANBU."

Jiraiya frowned and pondered for a while. Then he sighed. "Alright, fill me in. What do you want me to talk to him about?"

"Long story short, he has broken up with Iruka. And now, he wants to give up his team as well. That is why he is requesting to go back ANBU." Tsunade studied the report in front of her, not bothering to look at the sage. "So, work it out, find out from him, dig into his mind, whatever you want to do. Just knock some sense into him and make him see that there isn't only himself in this world. Everyone is worried about him."

Jiraiya deadpanned. "That's asking me to pry into someone else's life."

"Isn't that what you always do? Now go! Think of something to talk to him about and stop bothering me." Tsunade waved her hand and motioned for him to leave.

Jiraiya scowled and strode out of the room.

=-=-=-=

Iruka sniffled as he graded his papers. He grabbed a facial tissue from the box on his desk and covered his nose just in time for the sneeze. He cleared his nose and dumped the napkin into the bin beside him, which was already full of used napkins.

"God, can this get any worse? I'm coming down with a cold." He muttered into the space as he wheezed and grabbed another tissue to clear his nose.

The classroom door slid open.

"Iruka-sensei."

The chunin looked up to find Sakura standing at the classroom entrance.

"Sakura, is anything the matter?"

The teen walked gingerly over to him. Then she frowned and peered into his face.

"Iruka-sensei, you look sick. Have you been to see a doctor?"

Iruka waved his hand. "Just a cold. Must be the rain that I got caught in two days back. I will just drop by at the dispensary later to pick up some cold medicine. Are you looking for me?"

"I was wondering if you have seen Naruto."

Iruka blinked. "No. Not since yesterday morning. I thought he would be with you on a mission or something."

Sakura shook her head. "No, I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon. He's not taking it well, I think. He's still moping somewhere."

"What is the matter?" Iruka glanced at her curiously.

Sakura sighed. "We went to see Tsunade-sama yesterday when we heard that Kakashi-sensei is back on active duty. But she told us that Kakashi-sensei is stepping down as our team leader for the time being because he needs to sort out some of his issues. And Naruto gets the impression that Kakashi-sensei is abandoning us for good. I found him at the dango shop with Shikamaru and the other guys. But he left after that and I haven't seen him since."

Iruka gaped. "Kakashi is stepping down as team leader? What happened?"

"I have no idea. But that is what Tsunade-sama told us. Naruto has been feeling down after hearing that. I wonder where he is now."

"Have you been to his apartment?" Iruka grabbed another tissue from his desk.

"Yes. But he isn't there. He's not at the training field or Ichiraku either. And Shikamaru and Kiba hadn't seen him at all."

Iruka frowned as he dumped the tissue into the bin. "What about the Hokage's monument?"

Sakura looked a little hopeful. "You think he will be there?"

"I think." Iruka nodded. "He used to go there and sit to brood his day away before he became a genin."

"I will try and look for him there then. Thank you, Iruka-sensei." The pink haired kunoichi turned to leave. Then she looked over her shoulder and gave her former teacher a worried look. "Remember to pick up your medicine, sensei. I will come over and look for you once I find Naruto."

Iruka nodded and just waved her off. Sakura stepped out of the door and slid it close. From the other side, another loud sneeze was heard. She shook her head and took off towards the Hokage's monument.

=-=-=-=

Iruka sneezed again as he adjusted the bag of groceries in his arms. He shook his head to clear it and continued his way down to the next shop.

His head was getting heavy and he was sure the fever was starting to set in. He was beginning to regret having decided to do his grocery shopping before going over to the hospital. He should have gone there right after leaving the academy and grabbed the medicine and then head straight for home. The groceries can always wait.

'_Just one last thing. And after that, I can head over to the hospital and get some cold medicine.'_

He sneezed again and dumped the napkin into a bin he passed by before reaching into his pocket for another one. He was barely able to concentrate where he was going. He turned the corner and trudged to the last shop which will mark the end of his shopping.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi trudged down the streets, ignoring the bustling of activities around him. One hand was shoved into his pocket and the other holding his book.

He was lost in his own thoughts. The words were barely registering in his mind and he had been on the exact same page for the last twenty minutes since he had left the Hokage's tower and started reading.

He sighed and turned the corner, not even bothering to see where he was going. The moment he made the turn, he crashed into someone. His reflex made him immediately reach out to steady the poor person whom he had knocked into.

"I'm sor –"

His voice caught in his throat when he noticed the pale face and the familiar brown orbs staring back at him dazedly.

'_Iruka!'_

=-=-=-=

Iruka blinked when someone knocked into him. His head began to spin and he felt someone reaching out to steady him. He collected back his senses and looked up to thank the person.

He regretted that action immediately. The moment his head turned to look at the person before him, his world spun. The giddiness came back full force and he felt his grip lax on the bag he was cradling in his arms. He stumbled as his vision blurred and he tried to focus.

Before he could steady himself to clearly identify the person, he felt his knees going weak and the sight before him began to dull. The last thing he remembered was a pair of strong arms wrapping around him before darkness engulfed his senses.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi felt the panic rising in him as he looked at the unconscious chunin in his arms. One of his hands kept a tight grip on the bag that Iruka had been carrying and the other was wrapped around the brunette's waist, keeping him from falling to the ground.

A crowd had gathered around, trying to see what was happening. Kakashi ignored the crowd whispering around them and lowered the chunin onto the ground, resting him against the wall and setting the bag down beside him.

"Iruka, are you alright?" Kakashi swallowed hard. Despite his silent promises to himself that he would stay away from Iruka, he couldn't help it when he saw the younger man being so sick and helpless. He pulled off one of his gloves and felt the tanned forehead.

He cursed when he feel the warmth emanating from the chunin's body. Iruka was running a high fever. He scooped the man up into his arms and somehow managed to keep a grip onto the bag of groceries. Forming a few seals quickly, he transported them both to the hospital.

=-=-=-=

* * *


	7. Chapter 7: Longing

**A/N: And yes, this time round, it will be a two-chapters update. Well, a big thank you to all of you out there. ^_^ Hope you will enjoy it!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Longing

Tsunade entered the room, her brows furrowed together. A man followed closely behind her.

"How is he?"

Tsunade sighed and turned to look at her companion. "Down with a cold. A fever too. I will give him an injection which will bring down the temperature."

Kakashi nodded quietly, his eyes glued to the pale man lying in the hospital bed.

"You are still worried about him, aren't you?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow, daring the jounin to defy her statement.

Kakashi stayed silent as he tried to keep his emotions from surfacing. Tsunade shook her head in exasperation, not understanding why the jounin would still be hesitating. "You can stay here if you want. He won't be waking up so soon."

The Hokage strode out of the room, leaving the younger man in the room to his own musings and decisions. And hopefully, at being left alone, Kakashi would finally gather his wits and get his genius brain working to figure out how to sort things out with Iruka.

The door closed. Kakashi stood in his spot at the end of the bed, watching the sleeping man in the bed. The tension that had been plaguing him since Iruka fainted finally left him. He walked slowly to the bedside and slumped in the chair. His eye followed the frame of his ex-lover.

Iruka has lost weight. Kakashi felt his heart aching at that observation, knowing that it was because of the past few months of hell that he had put Iruka through. He reached out his hand hesitantly and touched the tanned cheek. His breath hitched at the contact.

He had missed that for so long. Missed the contact and missed how the chunin's skin feels against his hand. He missed embracing Iruka and hearing the gentle heartbeat when they snuggle up to each other in bed. He missed the warm brown eyes that always looked at him lovingly and the cheerful laughter that will always brighten up his day. He missed the welcome home kiss every time he returns from a mission and being tended to by Iruka when he is injured.

But most of all, he missed the love they shared and the time when they lived together. He couldn't deny it. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to let go, he knew he missed Iruka. Everything that he does, whether it's sitting in the couch, cooking his dinner or even sleeping in his bed at night, everything will ultimately link it back to the chunin. Everything reminds him of those times that he had spent with the younger man.

When did things go wrong? Why had he been such a jerk that he had hurt the person he loved time and again? Why did he not believe his friends during the time when he lost his memories, when they told him that Iruka was his lover? Why had he been so callous as to completely wipe the memories of their love from his mind? If he had truly loved Iruka, if the chunin really means the world to him, surely a foreign drug wouldn't be able to wipe off that feeling and that memory.

Kakashi felt the lump growing in his throat as unshed tears formed in the corner of his eyes. No matter how much he wished that all these hadn't happened, he couldn't turn back time and change it all. He knew it was over. Iruka deserves so much better.

Iruka deserves someone who loves him and doesn't make him worry. He deserves someone who never hurts him and always knows how to make things right. He deserves someone who makes him happy and pampers him.

And Kakashi knows that the person is not him. He will never be good enough for the chunin.

He lingered on a little more at the contact, knowing that this is probably the last time that he will get to touch the younger man like that. Then, he stood up and pulled down his mask. He bent over and pressed his lips against Iruka's.

A kiss that contains all those unvoiced emotions and spoke of hurt, longing and so much more. A kiss that barely lasted a second, but will be carved in the jounin's memory for eternity. A kiss that will comfort him in his darkest moments, but at the same time, reminds him of the hurt that he had inflicted on the chunin.

And it will be the last kiss that he ever gives Iruka.

Kakashi straightened himself and tugged his mask back in place. He knew he shouldn't dwell there any longer. If he does, he won't be able to hold back his control. And he knew that wanting Iruka to accept him back into his life would be unfair to the younger man. Maybe even cruel, after all those emotional pains that he had put the chunin through.

Kakashi swallowed hard. He allowed his hand to trail the peacefully sleeping face a while more. Then, he withdrew his hand and let it dropped to his side in defeat. With a heavy sigh, he turned and left the room.

=-=-=-=

Tsunade stared at the flask in front of her.

"What is this for?" She frowned and glanced up at the man in front of her.

"Give this to Iruka." Kakashi said quietly.

"What is it?" Tsunade tried to decipher what the flask could possibly contain.

"Cold remedy. It always works for him."

The older lady raised an eyebrow. "And why don't you want to wait for him to wake up and hand it to him personally?"

"He doesn't have to know." Kakashi looked away. "I don't want him to know."

"And why is that?"

"No reasons. He doesn't need to know any of this. Just give this to him and let him drink it. It will help him to recover faster." Kakashi shoved his hand into his pocket.

"Kakashi……." Tsunade sighed tiredly.

"Tsunade-sama, it will be easier for us both if we don't see each other."Kakashi interrupted quietly. "It will do him good."

Tsunade shook her head and pulled the flask towards her. "I really don't understand why you are doing this. I don't get it why you are pushing him away again. Kakashi, if you let go this time, no one will be able to help you."

"He deserves much better."

"You said that before." Tsunade snapped. "And I told you to talk things out with him. Apparently you didn't. That's why things have gotten to where they are today."

"He doesn't need to listen to my pathetic excuses." Kakashi turned to leave. "Tsunade-sama, I will leave this to you then. If you would excuse me, I still have some things to do."

"Are you sure about this?" Tsunade stared at the jounin's back, in a mix of sympathy and frustration.

"Yes. If he asks, don't mention anything about me. Whatever you say, don't let him know that I have got anything to do with his admission into the hospital or the cold remedy." Kakashi swallowed dryly. "This is my only request, Tsunade-sama."

The blond lady eyed her subordinate silently as she considered his request and weighed the pros and cons. Then she looked away.

"Alright. I give you my promise." Tsunade sighed in defeat. She had absolutely no idea how to convince the jounin. But at the same time, she doesn't want to push Kakashi into a corner till he really snap from the pressure.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Without a backward glance, Kakashi opened the door and stepped out of the room.

=-=-=-=

Iruka groaned and stirred. Slowly opening his eyes, he realized his surrounding was dark. He shifted and felt the pain throbbing in his head. Slowly, he pushed himself into a seating position and studied the room he was in.

Moonlight shone through the open window and Iruka wondered how long he had laid there sleeping. His eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness and he found himself staring at the four white walls of a hospital ward. The smell of sterilizer confirmed his location. He turned and looked out of the window dazedly.

He could vaguely recall a dream he had when he was sleeping. It was a funny dream, or at least it was to him. And it had been kind of a nice one.

He had dreamt of Kakashi. He had dreamt that Kakashi was with him while he was sleeping in the hospital bed. And the presence of the jounin was so overwhelming that it was almost real.

The thought of the older man was enough to send another flash of pain into Iruka's heart. He blinked away the tears that had formed in his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. He wished that the dream was real. Wished that Kakashi was right there to take care of him like he always did. Wished that the jounin will still be there to comfort him and assure him that everything is alright.

Iruka ran a hand through his hair in exasperation as he let out a bitter smile. Why was he still harboring these thoughts, when he knew that Kakashi doesn't care anymore? Why was he still holding on to something so futile when he should have let go long ago?

The door slid open quietly and someone entered the room, breaking him out of his reverie.

"You are finally awake, Iruka-san."

Light flooded into the room and Iruka squinted his eyes to adjust to the sudden intrusion. It took him a while to identify the person standing by the door.

"Shizune-san."

The dark haired lady approached the bed and smiled at him. "It's a good thing that I decided to come by on my rounds. I see that you are awake now. How are you feeling?"

"Horrible." Iruka clutched the side of his head and managed a weak smile, as he tried to push the thoughts in his head to the back of his mind.

"You are too reckless. You should have come over to the hospital for treatment the moment you are unwell." Shizune chided lightly.

"Sorry. I was on my way here. But I guess I couldn't make it in time." Iruka sighed as he rubbed his head.

"Like I would believe you. Looks like someone thinks grocery shopping is more important than getting himself treated." Shizune shook her head. Iruka grinned at her sheepishly.

"I thought I would buy some stuff on my way here."

Shizune sighed. "You are lucky someone sent you to the hospital in time. Or else, you can be prepared to stay here for the next few days for high fever and aches."

Iruka blinked a few times, trying to remember who that person was. He vaguely remembered knocking into someone before he fainted. He blushed slightly and made a note to find out who that person was so that he could thank him personally.

"Shizune-san, do you know who is the person who brought me here? I would like to thank him or her for the help."

"Oh, uh, that won't be necessary. He didn't leave behind a name either. He just left you in the ward and he left." Shizune smiled nervously. Iruka frowned.

Shizune changed the subject immediately before the chunin could question further.

"Sakura and Naruto-kun were here earlier. But you were asleep. They will come over and pick you up tomorrow. Just rest here for the night. Tsunade-sama had given you a jab earlier. It should push your fever down soon. But she wants you to take a rest tomorrow. Shikamaru-kun will be taking your place at the academy and Genma-san will be taking your shift in the mission room."

"Thank you." Iruka nodded.

"Oh, before I forget." She moved over to the counter at the other side of the room. "Drink this up. It will help you to recover faster."

She handed a cup to the chunin who took it gratefully. Iruka took a sip out from the cup and froze.

The taste was achingly familiar. It tasted like the cold remedy which Kakashi always made for him whenever he was down with a cold or fever. No one should know how to make it the way the jounin did, because Kakashi had once said that Minato had only ever taught him how to prepare it.

He swallowed hard and looked at the medic-nin. "Shizune-san, this drink……"

Shizune looked from him to the cup and fidgeted slightly. Then she smiled. "Tsunade-sama asks me to make sure you drink it. She prepared it for you."

"I see." Iruka turned back to the cup and finished up the contents.

He did not question further. But from the way the kunoichi was reacting, he knew that she was lying.

=-=-=-=

* * *


	8. Chapter 8: Letting Go

**A/N: And here's the next chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 8: Letting Go

Tsunade frowned at the piece of paper in front of her. She traced the words with her fingers, trying to absorb the details. The door opened and she looked up.

"Tsunade-sama, Iruka-san has woken up."

"How is he feeling?"

Shizune smiled. "Better. His fever has gone down. It shouldn't be too much of a concern now."

"That's good." Tsunade rubbed her forehead. "Has he taken the cold remedy?"

"Yes." Shizune sighed. "And as what Kakashi-san anticipated, he did ask."

Tsunade gave a wry smile. "And what did you say?"

"I didn't divulge who was the one who sent him to the hospital. And I told him that the cold remedy was prepared by you. He didn't seem to believe me though."

Tsunade shook her head. "I would have expected that. How do you fool someone who's been around Kakashi long enough?" The blond lady sighed. "He didn't question further?"

"No." Shizune frowned. "I don't get it. Just what's wrong with letting Iruka-san knows that Kakashi-san is the one who sent him here and prepared him that cup of tea?"

"If I must remind you, I'm not the one who made that weird request." Tsunade sighed and returned to reading the paper in her hand. "That brat is making things complicated. He's concerned about Iruka, but he's acting so distant about it."

"Iruka-san is bound to find out soon anyway. After all, I reckon since he collapsed in the market place, a lot of people must have seen them." Shizune reasoned. Tsunade looked up for a moment, before returning to her reading.

"Yes, I suppose. Let Kakashi handle it himself when that arises. For now, I will just keep my promise to him and keep this from Iruka. Since he wants to push away a potential chance to get back together, so be it." Tsunade muttered.

"You are saying this. But you are actually worried about the two of them." Shizune pointed out.

"And why the hell am I still doing that when it is all futile?" Tsunade sighed. "I'm just going to wash my hands off them and leave Jiraiya to talk to that brat."

Shizune shrugged. "I'm going to get back to my rounds at the hospital then, Tsunade-sama."

The blond lady grunted and waved her out of the room.

=-=-=-=

The shadow was hidden by the thick canopy of the trees. A figure leaned against the tree and stared at the window below.

Kakashi watched as Iruka slipped back into bed. He wanted so much to stay by the chunin's side like he used to. But it was all over between them. He didn't have that right anymore. And he had promised himself that he will not hold on to any more bonding.

That is why he had chosen to give up his team permanently and made the request to go back to ANBU. That had been a tough decision when he realized just how much Naruto and Sakura had grown on him. But it had to be done. He knew he had failed too many people and he just can't afford to anymore. In ANBU, he will be alone. There isn't anyone for him to keep a lookout for, because everyone watches their own backs in the black ops. Most of their missions are solo. He didn't have to worry about having to protect someone and the guilt that comes if he fails.

He will be able to move back to what he used to be. He won't have anyone that he needs to come home to and he won't have anyone close to him. He will be able to fully dedicate his life to protecting the village and carrying out the orders of the Hokage.

Kakashi turned to look into the window, at the bed where Iruka was lying on.

The chunin was still awake. And he was constantly looking out of the window, as if searching for something. Kakashi felt his heart clenched when he stared at the forlorn face of his ex-boyfriend. He would give anything in the world just to take the look away. If only he could.

He did not know how long he sat in the tree, hidden by its canopy. But he waited till he saw Iruka dozed back into sleep before he lifted himself off the branch and with one last longing look, left the hospital compound.

=-=-=-=

It was raining when Iruka woke up again. He stretched himself and sat up in bed. He was feeling much better. Taking a quick glance at the clock in the hospital ward, he noted that it was past nine in the morning.

He sighed as he looked out of the window, staring at the rain that pattered against the closed pane. He took a glance at his bedside table. The bag of groceries was placed there, with everything intact.

Then he began to muse. Was Kakashi the one who prepared that cold remedy for him the night before? He was almost sure it was. When Shizune said that Tsunade was the one who prepared it, she had hesitated and looked almost guilty. Iruka was sure the dark-haired assistant wasn't telling the truth.

Then why did they have to lie to him? Did they not want him to know that Kakashi had been there? He frowned when a thought struck him. Was the jounin the one who brought him to the hospital too?

The door slid open, disrupting his train of thoughts.

"Iruka-sensei?" Naruto peeked into the room, trying to ascertain that his teacher was indeed awake.

"Hi, Naruto." Iruka smiled.

The blond teen grinned and slipped into the room. Behind him, his pink-haired teammate followed.

"How are you feeling, Iruka-sensei?" Sakura frowned.

"Much better." The chunin assured her.

"You scare the hell out of us. When we heard that you fainted in the streets, we almost freaked out." Naruto frowned as he sat at the edge of the bed.

Iruka blushed and scratched his scar. "I'm fine now. Don't worry about it." Then he ruffled the boy's locks. "What about you, Naruto? Are you alright now?" He stole a glance at Sakura who was standing behind her teammate. The girl shrugged.

"I'm alright." Naruto muttered. "I've thought about it. If he wants to leave, so be it. There's nothing I can do. But, anyway, it's not like he's leaving Konoha. I will still see him around."

"Glad you can think that way." Iruka smiled fondly at him. "But I'm sure things will work out. Tsunade-sama will have a way to solve this."

Naruto nodded. All of them were silent. Then Iruka looked at the two a little uncertainly. "Do the two of you by any chance know who the person who sent me to the hospital was?"

The two turned to look at each other, then back at the academy teacher.

"No." Sakura tried to recall if there had been anyone else around. "When we came here yesterday afternoon, there was only Tsunade-sama and Shizune-san."

"I see." Iruka sighed. "I guess there's no way I can thank that person then."

"Well, Iruka-sensei, don't fret over that." Sakura smiled. "I'm sure that person wouldn't think much of it either. Anyone would help."

Iruka nodded. Then he glanced up at the girl. "Do you think I can leave now?"

Sakura folded her arms and thought about it. "Let me check with Shizune-san."

=-=-=-=

"Oh my god, did you hear what they were discussing about in the market place this morning?" Kurenai slipped into the booth and glanced at the two bored men in front of her.

"Yes. The whole village is talking about it." Asuma yawned.

"Yeah. Even Asuma, who usually isn't into gossips, is so well aware of the entire thing." Genma stirred his tea with his senbon. "I've been hearing it since I stepped into the streets half an hour ago."

"Do you think they still have a chance?" Kurenai cocked an eyebrow.

Asuma sighed. "Seriously, I don't know. With the way Kakashi is handling this whole thing, I'm getting a little tired of considering that possibility. And frankly speaking, that's a pretty common gesture to even read too much into it. Wouldn't you send a fellow shinobi who had passed out on the streets to the hospital?"

"I would." Kurenai sighed and poured herself a cup of tea.

"Practically everyone would. Unless of course, you are talking about people like Orochimaru and Akatsuki, who don't even know the word 'empathy'." Asuma snorted. Genma nodded in agreement.

Anko stomped into the tea tavern, practically exuding off a murderous sense. She stopped at the table where the three were sitting and glared at them.

"What the hell did Kakashi do that landed Iruka in the hospital?"

All three jolted. "What are you talking about?" Kurenai frowned.

"I heard Kakashi was there when Iruka fainted on the streets and then he sent him to the hospital. Just what is he doing? Was he the one who made Iruka faint?" Anko fumed.

"I have absolutely no idea where you got that idea from." Genma placed the senbon in his mouth and chewed on it. "Apparently, you haven't heard the whole story."

Anko sat down heavily in the empty space beside Kurenai and glared at him. "Enlighten me then!"

"Well," Genma drawled. "From what we heard, Iruka was sick and he fainted in the market place, right into Kakashi's arms. What a nice coincidence. But anyway, Kakashi was apparently pretty worried about him and transported him to the hospital immediately."

"And who did you hear that from?" Anko narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"If you want me to point out a specific person, then that would be Inuzuka Hana. I met her earlier on and she was telling that to me. Oh, and she was an eye witness to the whole incident." Genma snorted. "But anyway, if you walk down the streets now, practically everyone is talking about it. So you can't possibly miss it."

"Oh?" Anko turned thoughtful. "So do you think they still have a chance to get back together?"

Asuma groaned. "Not another one."

=-=-=-=

* * *


	9. Chapter 9: Knocking Sense

**A/N: Yes, I know everyone wants to see Kakashi and Iruka get back together and I swear that will come soon. And I mean very soon. But well, things must always happen before the sweetness comes. So be patient with me? ^_^ Here's the next chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 9: Knocking Sense

Naruto blinked. "Isn't Shikamaru supposed to be the one taking the class?"

"That's what I heard from Shizune-san." Iruka frowned as he looked into the door of his classroom.

Konohamaru caught sight of him and immediately jumped out of his seat and towards the door. The new teacher in the room was surprised and was about to say something when he saw the three people standing at the door.

"Iruka-san." The teacher greeted.

Iruka stepped into the room. Konohamaru glanced up at him. "What happened to you, sensei? We heard you are sick. How are you feeling now? When are you coming back to teach?"

Iruka smiled as the rest of the students clambered out of their seats and ran towards him.

"I'm sorry for disrupting your class." Iruka looked at the new teacher apologetically.

"Oh, it's alright." The man smiled politely. "The kids seem to love you."

"I guess." Iruka blushed. "Sorry to ask. But I was told that Shikamaru is taking over the class today."

"Oh, Shikamaru-san was asked by Hokage-sama to go for a mission this morning. I was called to take over the class." The man scratched his head. "Sorry for forgetting to introduce myself. I am a new assistant teacher. My name is Sarugaku Tsuzumi. I just passed the teachers' selection exams last month, so this is my first time taking a class."

"Ah, I see. Congratulations." Iruka smiled warmly.

"Thank you." Tsuzumi grinned.

"Well, class, I've got to go. Now, go back to your seats and don't give Tsuzumi-sensei any problems, alright?" Iruka turned back to the students. All of them groaned. When the chunin gave them a stern look, all of them shuddered and hurried back to their seats.

"I should get going now. Sorry again for disturbing the class." Iruka bowed politely and left the room.

Tsuzumi watched him leave and heaved a sigh of relief. Iruka doesn't seem too hard a person to work with. And he had been worried for nothing for having to take the chunin's class.

=-=-=-=

Iruka lay in bed as Sakura prepared lunch in the small kitchen with Naruto helping her. He closed his eyes as he recalled those comments he had heard in the streets.

'_Were you really the one, Kakashi? Do we still stand a chance?'_

He let out a bitter laugh. The relationship was long gone. He was well aware of that. He had given it up a week back and the jounin hadn't been to look for him, which means that the older man is in favour of the breakup too. Kakashi had most probably done what everyone else would have done. He was reading too much into it.

At that thought, a lone tear slid down from the corner of his eye and down his cheek. He reached a hand up to wipe it off. He had promised himself he won't cry anymore. Even if not for himself, he would do it for his friends. He can't afford to make them worry anymore.

He sat up in his bed. Anko was right. He wouldn't move on. He will never move on. Not when he is still hurting so deeply. Not when he knew that the only person he will ever love is Kakashi. Not when he is still hoping against a futile hope.

Iruka reached under his pillow and pulled out a chain. A silver band hung from it. It was the only thing from Kakashi that he had kept. A small remembrance of the love they once shared and the short period of life that they had spent together. Kakashi had given that to him on the day when they moved in together to the apartment. It was a sweet reminder of the jounin's promise to him that their love was sealed.

But now, it seems to stare right into his face and laugh at him. Somehow, the reminder was no longer that of the sweet promises. But rather, it was a reminder to him of how stupid he is to still hope that there would be a day when they would be together again.

He clutched the chain close to his heart and took in deep breaths to calm his erratic heartbeat.

'_If you don't care anymore, why do you even bother sending me to the hospital or making me that cold remedy? Why do you still pin me down with such hopes?'_

He sat there in a daze, until a knock came to the door and Naruto called out.

"Iruka-sensei, lunch is ready."

"Coming." Iruka managed to call out weakly. He stared at the chain in his hand one last time before slipping it back under his pillow and with a deep sigh, trudge out of the room.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi sat on the roof, with his book in his hands. He wasn't reading. He was focusing on his surroundings.

It was past midnight. Another night of watch duty. He was getting bored of it. But Tsunade had wanted him to go on light duty until she deemed him fit enough to move out for missions. And there was no way that he could talk his way out of it when his superior is so adamant about it.

Plus, there was still the pending issue of whether Tsunade is going to allow him to go back to ANBU.

He sighed, as he lowered his book and stared into the window opposite from the roof.

Iruka had moved away from their apartment and to another part of the village. It was a distance away from the apartment they used to share and the current place where the jounin was staying. And, it was also far from the academy and mission room.

That was enough to tell Kakashi that Iruka wanted to get away from him as far as possible and that the jounin is no longer part of his life. That was enough to convince him that Iruka is moving on and won't hang on to him any longer. Not that he would want to, but he had still harbored on a little hope that Iruka would hold on. At least, that would help to keep his sanity, knowing that there is still someone who still cares for him.

But from what he is seeing, Kakashi knew that it would never be the case.

It had taken him a while to find out the new place that the chunin had moved into. He knew he had promised himself that he won't get involved anymore. But he couldn't help worrying for the younger man. That feeling had grown in him and it will take a while for him to get over it.

Moving back to ANBU seems more appealing now than before. Going back to the black ops will definitely help him to regain the detached façade that he used to possess.

As he sat there cursing himself for his weakness, he saw the younger man entering the bedroom and getting ready for bed. Iruka looked much better now. He wasn't looking that pale anymore and he definitely seemed to be recovering well from the cold.

Kakashi felt his heart clenched. Weeks back, if Iruka had caught a cold, he would have made sure that the younger man retired to bed early, no matter how much Iruka insists that he was alright. If it had been weeks back, he would still be there, holding the chunin, watching him, until the younger man drifts off into sleep. If it had been weeks back, he wouldn't have done anything that would hurt Iruka.

How could so many things happen in such a short period of time?

Someone approached him and he frowned. Slipping his book into his pouch, he stood from his position and glanced towards the direction where the person was coming from.

"Hatake-san, so here you are. I was looking for you." A chunin smiled at him. Kakashi nodded blankly.

He could not really recall the chunin's name; just that it is someone different from the one always patrolling with him for the last few days.

Throwing one last glance towards the window and watching as his ex-lover slipped into bed, he turned back to the chunin in front of him.

"Let's go."

=-=-=-=

The two men sat at the table in the tea tavern. Neither said a word nor made a move. Finally, one of them spoke.

"Jiraiya-sama, I hope you didn't ask me out here to stare at the tea." Kakashi sighed.

"Don't you find it amazing how a few leaves can give out such a strong taste in a matter of minutes?" Jiraiya replied, as he examined his pot of tea.

Kakashi gave him a blank look. "And?"

"And the longer you brew it, the thicker the taste becomes."

"So?"

"So, just simply from the taste of the tea, you will know how much effort the harvesters of the leaves and the brewer have put in to produce such a wonderful product." Jiraiya looked up at him with an all-knowing smile.

"Just get to the point, Jiraiya-sama." Kakashi folded his arms on the table.

"Well, my point is simple, Kakashi. A cup of good tea will only happen when you give meticulous care to the leaves. The amount of effort you put in, the time you invest in it, the patience that you give and the will to follow through the process will determine the results of how that tea will turn out when it is being brewed. Whether it is going to be bitter, bitter-sweet or sweet or depends on what you do during the nurturing process."

Kakashi stared at him. "And so, what's the point?"

"A relationship is like a cup of tea, Kakashi. Patience, love, time, care, concern, commitment, compromising, giving and taking are the tea leaves that you need to nurture." Jiraiya eyed the younger man intently. "And when you are able to invest the effort, the leaves will grow into wonderful products, which will result in a great cup of tea, in other words, a beautiful relationship."

Kakashi sighed. "And I don't see what this have to do with me."

The sannin ignored him and continue. "And when you brew the tea, the longer you set the leaves in it, the stronger the taste becomes. It is the same for a relationship. The longer those elements which I have mentioned, remains, the stronger the relationship will grow."

Kakashi remained silent, tired of trying to figure out the sannin's point. He waited to see what else the white-haired man had got to say.

"But, sometimes, no matter how careful we may be, or how dedicated we are in grooming those leaves to produce a good tea, there are always negative factors which will affect us. Like bad weather, insects infestation, wrong types of gardening supplies used, wrong advice given to us in growing the tea leaves, and many other different reasons." Jiraiya poured himself a cup of tea and stared at it for a moment before looking up at the other man.

"But the most important thing is to know where we went wrong, or what went wrong and rectify it immediately. Sometimes, if it's just minor damage, we can just pick out those bad leaves and dumped it, so that it wouldn't infect the good ones. And there's no point in dwelling in the lost ones, because it will just bring away your focus away from those good ones which you could have put more effort in to make sure it makes up for all those that you have lost."

Jiraiya paused and then sighed. "If it's a major damage, then all we have to do is to start all over again. Because, as long as you have the will and the dedication to make things right, the leaves will grow again. And maybe, even blossom into a better produce than the previous ones."

Kakashi sighed. "Jiraiya-sama, I know what you are getting at, so you can really stop talking in metaphors."

"Kakashi, you and Iruka's love had been a beautiful one. The two of you have given in and changed so much to accommodate each other. You have cared for and loved each other without hesitation, and I have to admit that the two of you were really dedicated to each other. So, why are you so willing to give it up over a mistake made?"

"You won't understand, Jiraiya-sama." Kakashi muttered.

"You are so damn right. I don't! I simply don't see what is the big deal of one memory loss that can tear the two of you apart. What matters is that you remember now."

"I hit him." Kakashi said quietly. "I hurled abuse at him and I refused to acknowledge our relationship."

"Get over it, Kakashi. That's already history." Jiraiya shook his head. "And which couple never had their fair share of quarrels before? Which couple hadn't hurled abuse at each other, whether physically, mentally or emotionally? Everyone has at least done one of it. Perhaps yes, you went a bit too far and did all of it. But who could blame you? You were under some forms of intoxicants at that time and I bet you didn't even know what you were doing."

"That doesn't give me an excuse to get away with it. I've still hurt Iruka." Kakashi closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"I don't think Iruka ever blames you for it." Jiraiya looked at Kakashi. "He's been the one trying to make things go back to what it was like before. And it seems to me that you keep pushing him away, whether it's during the period of your memory loss or even after you've regained your memories back, though perhaps, you are pushing him away for different reasons."

"I can't do anything about it now."

"You can if you want to." Jiraiya was thoughtful. "All you have to do is to ask him out and talk things over. It doesn't matter what he will say or do. But at least, you have given him an explanation. And that in itself, has already helped to unknot the uncertainties that both of you have in your hearts."

"No." Kakashi shook his head slowly. "He's got his own life now and he's happy. It is clearly telling me that he is getting on better without me and that I need to forget about him."

"Is that the reason why you want to go back to ANBU?" Jiraiya asked as he studied the jounin.

Kakashi turned and looked away. Jiraiya sighed.

"You know, kid, Minato has always been worried for you ever since you stepped into the black ops at a young age. After he rose to become the Hokage, he was actually seriously considering pulling you out of ANBU because you grew even more detached than you were before you joined them. He never got to do it, but Sarutobi-sensei took over his role and kept a lookout for you. When he eventually decided that it is time to pull you from ANBU, I was glad, because you finally have a chance to get in touch with the real world." Jiraiya eyed him grimly.

"And now, you are going to go back to the past and live in it. I don't deny the fact that you are trained and cut out for an ANBU role. But the reason why you are going back is not because ANBU suits you, but it's because, you are trying to avoid facing all the problems."

Kakashi sighed inwardly. First Tsunade, now Jiraiya. How many more preaching does he have to go through? He stood up from his seat.

"I get what you are trying to say, Jiraiya-sama. But this whole thing is too complicated and the only way out is to get myself out of the entire scene. That way, everyone will be happier. Iruka will carry on with his life as it is now. Sakura and Naruto will not have someone who is constantly failing the people around him." He shoved his hands into his pocket. "And I think I will be able to move on."

"That's what you think. But that's not what I see." Jiraiya frowned. "Naruto is depressed, Sakura is upset. And Iruka, well, he's been like a lost soul ever since the two of you ended your relationship. And as for you, I don't see you moving on. You are stuck in your own dilemma and you don't seem to want to get out of it. Don't you really care about them anymore? You know, if you would just speak up, it will help you and everyone else."

"There's no point in saying anymore. I don't want to drag them down with me any longer." Kakashi sighed. "Iruka is getting on well. He's moving on. He's having a better life now. Naruto and Sakura, they will adjust soon enough without me around. They have worked with Yamato long enough to accommodate to him."

Jiraiya downed his tea and eyed the jounin. "I've said all I can. If this is really what you want to do, I can't stop you either. But you seriously need to think about going back to ANBU. Joining ANBU isn't what any sane person would want to do and rejoining them will just dictate to everyone that you have really snapped and lost all traces of sanity. I just hope you will think things through before you make the next move. This is for your own good, Kakashi."

Kakashi nodded. "I know. And I will. I have to get going, Jiraiya-sama. I still have to run some errands for Tsunade-sama."

Jiraiya waved his hand casually as Kakashi turned to walk out. Just before he left, he heard the older man mutter something else.

"You must really be the blind one if you see Iruka moving on."

=-=-=-=

* * *


	10. Chapter 10: Moving On

**A/N: Alright, here's the next chapter. And the chapter after this would be what everyone is waiting for. The reunion of Kakashi and Iruka. Well, sorta. So, thanks for all your reviews and I hope to get the next chapter up soon. Sorry. I would have done another two chapters update just so you guys won't have to wait so long. But I was rather tied down with work. =.=**

* * *

Chapter 10: Moving On

Kakashi walked down the streets, pondering over his conversation with the toad sage. He sighed. If only things were as easy as they had assumed it to be. Did they think that he really had no intention to make things up with Iruka? He had wished for it, hope for it. But, he did not know how to face the chunin. And he did not exactly know what he should say to at least make some reparations.

And it had been a fact that Iruka had chosen to break up with him.

He shoved his hands into his pocket and continued down the path when a familiar chakra signal alerted him. He paused in his tracks and looked up.

And what he saw convinced him that Iruka had definitely moved on.

The chunin was carrying a bag in his arms, doing his weekly grocery shopping. And beside him, was another shinobi, whom Kakashi recognized as the chunin who had been doing patrol duty with him for the past few nights. His name was Tsuzumi.

Kakashi swallowed hard as he stared at the two joking and laughing as they continued down the path before turning into a side street. The jounin immediately took a few quick steps forward and halted in his steps.

There, down the street, Tsuzumi had his arms around Iruka. The tanned chunin was blushing and laughing about something while Tsuzumi had a smile on his face.

But Kakashi was too stunned to even hear their conversation. All he could see was the two in the quiet street, in each other's embrace. He swallowed dryly. He watched as the two broke apart and continued walking, not even noticing that someone was watching.

He felt something inside of him breaking into tiny pieces. All was lost. It was certain now. And he was the one who had pushed things too far and made it the way it is today. He can't blame Iruka. He could blame no one. It was the decisions that he made, the way he pushed the younger man away. And now, he had literally pushed Iruka right into someone else's arms.

He turned and walked away, no longer the same person. He closed his eye and swallowed again, trying to get rid of the lump wedged in his throat. Somehow, it seems unwilling to leave him alone.

He trudged down the street, hands shoved in his pocket. Obito's eye was rimmed with unshed tears. He had nothing that he needs to be concerned with anymore. Jiraiya's and Tsunade's worries were unfounded. No one would ache for him or long for him. No one would be hurt or sad if he did not return from an ANBU mission.

He would talk to Tsunade again. Despite what everyone says, he knew. If he wants to keep the last bit of sanity in him, he had to go back to ANBU. At least, if he is constantly out for mission, it would spare him the pain of watching the person he loves be with someone else.

=-=-=-=

Iruka was walking down the streets, doing his weekly groceries shopping when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and looked right into a smiling face in front of him.

"Hi, Iruka-sensei!"

"Hi, Tsuzumi-sensei." Iruka smiled.

Ever since he had went back to the academy after his sick leave two weeks back, Tsuzumi had been assisting him on a few classes. The newly instated academy teacher had been an enthusiastic and helpful person and Iruka had found working with him pretty enjoyable.

"Doing your groceries shopping, Iruka-sensei?" Tsuzumi glanced at the bag in the chunin's arms.

"Yes. I don't have mission room duty today. So it's a good time to do my shopping. What about you? Where are you heading towards?"

"Ah……." Tsuzumi blushed slightly. "I'm heading down to the textile shop to meet someone."

"I see. I'm heading the same direction. Let's walk together." Iruka started down the streets again, with the other teacher beside him.

"So, are you still adjusting well to teaching in the academy?" Iruka glanced at the man.

Tsuzumi sighed. "It's good, but tiring. I wonder where those kids got all their energy from."

Iruka laughed. "You just have to find their weakness and use it against them to make them settle down. And you need to be stricter with them when it needs be."

Tsuzumi scratched his head. "I have a lot to learn from you. You seem to be able to get them to settle down without saying anything."

"Well, that requires some practice." Iruka winked. Both of them laughed as they approached a junction and turned into it.

Iruka almost did not notice the cat lying in his path and when he did, he immediately stepped aside hastily to avoid kicking the poor animal. In his hurry, he tripped over the uneven path. A pair of arms reached out to steady him.

"Are you alright, Iruka-sensei?" Tsuzumi asked as he placed his hands on the chunin's shoulders, keeping him on his feet.

Iruka blushed. "Yes. Thank you. I guess I'm really out of condition to be so clumsy. I should ask Hokage-sama to start sending me out on some missions to get back into shape."

Tsuzumi laughed. "Well, at least you are still fit enough to avoid those shurikens and kunai from the students' practice drills. And that's saying something. I can't even avoid them yet."

Iruka chuckled as they continued down the road again. They reached the textile shop where a young lady was standing outside.

"Well, here's the textile shop. I will see you back in school tomorrow, Tsuzumi-sensei." Iruka smiled.

"Of course. Oh, by the way, Iruka-sensei, let me introduce someone to you." Tsuzumi blushed again as he gestured for the girl outside the door to come forward. "This is Kaori. She's my fiancée." He turned to the lady beside him. "Kaori, this is my colleague from the academy. He is Iruka-sensei."

Iruka bowed politely. "Nice to meet you, Kaori-san. And congratulations, Tsuzumi-sensei."

"Thank you." Tsuzumi scratched his head in nervousness. Kaori bowed politely.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Iruka-sensei."

"Well, I need to be on my way now. I will see you around." Iruka waved and continued down the street to finish his shopping.

He was completely unaware of the presence that was watching his every movement and silently crumbling into pieces.

=-=-=-=

Asuma yawned and stared at the glass of beer in front of him. Someone slid into the seat beside him.

"So what is it?"

Asuma glanced up at the person beside him. "I haven't seen you in a while. So I thought that we should at least meet up to get some updates on how you are getting on."

Kakashi shrugged. "What do you want to know?"

The bearded jounin went back to staring at his glass. "It's been two weeks since you came back on active duty, isn't it? How have you been coping after having been out of commission for so long?"

"What's new?" Kakashi signaled for a passing waiter to bring him some sake. "I'm still on light duty. The usual night patrolling, helping Tsunade-sama with some paperwork and all."

"I heard from Shikamaru that you are temporarily giving up your team." Asuma sighed. "Is that true?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "How did he know?"

"So it's true." Asuma took a drink out from his glass. "Well, he heard from Sakura, apparently. Naruto was moping around after being told by Tsunade-sama that you are stepping down as their team leader. But he didn't tell them what exactly happened. And they happened to meet Sakura who told them the reason why Naruto was so down."

The order came and Kakashi poured himself a cup of sake. "I see."

"So, how long are you intending to leave them alone?"

The silver-haired jounin pulled down his mask and downed the cup of sake. "I spoke to Tsunade-sama a week or so back. I requested to step down permanently."

"You are serious?" Asuma eyed him intently. "Then I reckon the thing which Jiraiya-sama told me is true then?"

"What thing?"

"You are going back to ANBU."

Kakashi sighed. "And he asked you to talk to me?"

"Not really." Asuma lit up his cigarette and took a puff. "But he did ask me to make sure you think things through."

"I did." Kakashi said quietly. "I have never been more certain of my decision than now."

"Kakashi, what are you hoping to gain out of this? You know the role of an ANBU. Every single person in there has a suicidal mindset. When have you gone back to that kind of a mentality? You know you can't fail an ANBU mission, because if you do, you have to self-destruct." Asuma ruffled his hair. "And if you really do that, what will happen to Iruka, Naruto and Sakura?"

"They will get on."

"They won't. Especially not Iruka."

"He will." Kakashi poured himself another cup of sake. "He has already moved on."

"I really don't know from which angle you are looking at the entire situation. Iruka hadn't move on, and never will. He is pretending to be alright just so we won't worry for him. But he can't get on without you. That much is obvious to all of us, even if he doesn't say anything." Asuma took another puff from his cigarette. "And you are the same too."

"We are over, Asuma. He ended it three weeks back and I was the one who made it that way!" Kakashi's single eye burned with a mix of anger and sadness. "Will you just stop harping on how he isn't moving on? He has! I've seen him. I've seen how he is living now. He doesn't even need me in his life anymore. I can see that! He is getting on fine as it is. He doesn't need to deal with my emotional baggage or my issues!"

"Kakashi……"

"He has someone new. I saw them." Kakashi muttered as he finished up his sake and called for another one. "I saw them yesterday in the market place."

Asuma raised an eyebrow. "I didn't hear about Iruka having anyone new."

"Then get yourself updated, Asuma." Kakashi looked away. "It's really over for us. The new guy is good for him. I've worked with him a few times in the last two weeks. Kind, dedicated, patient. He's everything that I will never be. Iruka will be happier with him."

"You know, Kakashi, I really don't know how to deal with this news that you are telling me. Something tells me that this is a misunderstanding."

"I know what I see." Kakashi picked up the new bottle of sake and refilled his cup. "You don't really have to comfort me. I'm a grown up. I can deal with this."

"Perhaps you should really look him up to clarify things." Asuma frowned.

"No. I don't want to make things difficult for him anymore." The silver haired jounin said quietly. "I can only make it up to him by letting him go and allow him to pursue the happiness that he deserves."

"Whatever it is, you still owe him an explanation." Asuma pointed out. "And knowing Iruka, he won't have a peace of mind if he didn't get an answer to the doubts he's having. Whether he is in another relationship or not."

"No explanation is good enough. I've done him too much damage." Kakashi stared at the table. "I know when I have to let go. I would rather he hate me and carry on with his life. At least, that would ease off some of my guilt. You know, they always say that you never know how to treasure something until it is gone. I think I'm beginning to understand the meaning now. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have done what I did."

Asuma sighed. "Kakashi, I don't know how to talk you out of this. First of all, you aren't talking like yourself and that's really worrying. And really, you should stop trying to put all the blame on yourself every time you think you have failed someone." He rubbed his temple exasperatedly. "Anyway, yours and Iruka's problem aside. I really think you shouldn't go back to ANBU."

"And why not?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"It's not going to do you any good, Kakashi. Not emotionally."

"It will help me to forget, at least. It will teach me how to seal off my own emotions all over again. It's something that I think I'm having problems with recently. And in ANBU, I will always have things to do which will keep my mind occupied." Kakashi downed the last of his sake and stood up. "Anyway, I've got to go. I still have my shift to take."

Asuma sighed, knowing he can't talk the silver-haired jounin out of his mentality. He shook his head. "Take care, Kakashi. And really, think it over again. I will see you soon."

The copy nin gave a curt nod and strode out of the bar.

=-=-=-=

The staff room was silent. Everyone was busy with their work and buried in the thick stacks of assignments waiting to be graded. All of them were eager to just finish up everything and enjoy the Friday night.

The door slid open and someone stepped in. All the academy teachers in the room looked up. A chunin strode over nervously to one of the desk in front of Iruka and spoke in a low voice to the occupant before slipping a piece of paper onto the desk. When the chunin departed, Iruka glanced over to see the person with a crestfallen look.

"Tsuzumi-sensei, what happened?" Iruka raised an eyebrow.

"I'm called to stand in for someone for tonight's patrol." Tsuzumi sighed. "It seems like that person was called away for a last minute mission."

Iruka smiled at him sympathetically. "It's not that bad, is it? At least there's an additional income."

Tsuzumi ruffled his hair in frustration. "It wouldn't be that bad if I haven't already had an appointment. It's my fiancée's birthday tomorrow and I'm actually planning to bring her to the nearby hot springs village to celebrate. We were intending to set off this evening. Looks like I have to cancel the plans now. She will be so disappointed."

Iruka listened to the assistant teacher's problem. He frowned and contemplated for a moment. Then he smiled. "Well Tsuzumi-sensei, you don't exactly have to cancel it."

Tsuzumi sighed again. "I have to. There won't be enough time to set off tomorrow. We will barely enjoy ourselves before we have to leave the hot springs and head back to Konoha again."

"You can go ahead with you plans, Tsuzumi-sensei. I can cover the shift for you if you like." Iruka offered graciously.

Tsuzumi's eyes brightened up. "Would you really? I mean, I don't want to trouble you, Iruka-sensei. You may have something that you would want to do on a Friday night."

"Well, I don't. Most of my close friends are out for missions. So I'm pretty much left alone this weekend." Iruka chuckled. "And I have the entire weekend to grade these assignments, so I guess I'm able to take out the time to do a night patrol today."

"You are a savior, Iruka-sensei. I really owe you one." Tsuzumi smiled gratefully.

Iruka nodded. "Don't worry about that. What time is the shift supposed to start?"

"Twelve midnight. It's till six in the morning tomorrow."

"I will be there." Iruka smiled. "So, enjoy your trip."

Tsuzumi heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, Iruka-sensei. I will be sure to return the favour someday."

Iruka laughed and waved his hand. "Really, it's nothing. You don't have to worry about it."

=-=-=-=

* * *


	11. Chapter 11: Unexpected Meeting

**A/N: And here you go. I'm working on the next chapter and of course, more KakaIru action ahead. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 11: Unexpected Meeting

Iruka balanced the stacks of assignments in his arms as he reshuffled his bag on his shoulder. It was getting late into the evening and he knew he had to hurry home to get ready for his shift that night. After making sure that nothing will topple over, he continued down the streets towards his apartment.

He sighed. Going home used to be so much easier. It was much nearer to the academy and there would always be Kakashi there to help him to carry those stacks of books and assignments. And they would always joke and talk on their way home. The jounin had always been so considerate of his needs.

Iruka paused in his steps. The memories were hurting and he had told himself that he would not think of it anymore. No matter how happy those memories had once been or how precious they are to him, those were already events of the past. No matter how much he wished, it will never come back.

A heavy hand on his shoulder brought him out of his reverie. He jumped in surprise and spun around to see Asuma looking at him amusedly.

"Well, Iruka, what are you doing here standing in the middle of the street and acting like a statue?"

The chunin blushed as he mumbled an apology. Asuma chuckled, then sighed and looked at him.

"Hey Iruka, do you have some time? I would like to find out something from you."

Iruka raised an eyebrow. But he nodded and trailed after the older man when the jounin gestured for him to follow.

=-=-=-=

"Iruka……." Asuma sighed and ruffled his hair. "Well, how should I put it?"

Iruka stared at him amusedly. "Just say it, Asuma."

"Well, I don't mean to be intrusive, but I just need to check it with you. Because personally, I don't really believe it."

Iruka nodded slowly, trying to understand the purpose of the conversation.

"Well Iruka, do you have someone new?" Asuma eyed the chunin tentatively.

Iruka blinked confusedly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, do you have a new boyfriend?" Asuma sighed.

Iruka gaped. "Wherever did you get that idea from?"

"Let's just say I heard it somewhere." Asuma propped his head on his hand and stared at the younger man. "So do you?"

Iruka frowned. "No."

"As I guessed." Asuma took a drink from his cup.

"So what is this all about, Asuma?"

Asuma rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Kakashi is requesting to go back to ANBU."

Iruka felt his heart dropped. "Why?"

Asuma paused and debated on whether he should tell the chunin. Then he sighed and gave in. It was only fair for the younger man to know. "For a few reasons. And one of them is you."

"And what has it got to do with me?" The brunette asked quietly as he stared at the table. "Doesn't he not care anymore?"

Asuma turned his head and looked out onto the streets. "He does. He still cares. More than you think."

Iruka's head jerked up. "Liar. If he does, why doesn't he come and see me himself? Why does he have to send you?"

"He didn't send me. I just can't stand seeing the two of you getting on like this." Asuma shook his head. "He didn't know how to approach you. No matter what we said, he's putting all the blame on himself. He's guilty about all those hurt he had inflicted on you and he can find no way out of this whole mess. He thinks he has failed you, Naruto and Sakura, like he had failed so many others in the past."

Iruka stared disbelievingly at the jounin as he took in this new piece of information. Then he turned silent and looked away, trying to will away that hope rising up in him. He had thought Kakashi did not care any longer. He had accepted the fact that it was all over between them. He had convinced himself over and over again that the jounin was never coming back to him and that he should move on.

So why is it now that Asuma have to reveal all these to him? Facts that should have been told to him months ago before he made the decision to leave and not now when he is in the midst of recovering from his emotional wounds.

Asuma leaned back in his seat and folded his arms. "I do not understand the two of you. Both of you keep thinking that the other does not care anymore and decided that letting each other go is a wise choice. Without seeking a clarification, you give up on a relationship that is worth so much more. Seriously Iruka, do you think this is worth it? One misunderstanding is all it takes to tear the two of you apart. Surely your relationship can stand a stronger test than this."

"I wasn't the one who lead things to the way it is today, Asuma." Iruka said quietly, trying to keep his anger and hurt under control.

"I know." Asuma sighed. "Iruka, I just need to know this. Answer me honestly. Do you still love him?"

Iruka felt the tears stinging in the corner of his eyes. Much as he would love to deny it, he knew he couldn't. He has always been weak in things that concerns Kakashi.

"Yes." He answered softly. The truth seems to drill right into his heart and he suddenly felt suffocated by all the ironies he had been facing in his love life.

Asuma eyed him sympathetically. Then he gave a soft smile. "That's good, Iruka. I'm glad." He fiddled with his cup and then looked at the chunin again. "Iruka, this may be unfair to you. But I do have a favor to ask of you."

=-=-=-=

Iruka lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The conversation from earlier on kept replaying itself in his mind. He sighed deeply. How was he even to carry out what Asuma had requested?

_*****_

_Flashback_

_*****_

"_Iruka, this may be unfair to you. But I do have a favor to ask of you."_

_Iruka stared at the jounin uncertainly. Then he gave a sigh of defeat. After all the revelations he had heard that day, nothing else should faze him out._

"_What is it?"_

"_Do you think you can sit down and talk things out with Kakashi?" Asuma asked._

_Iruka shook his head despondently. "I tried before. But he refuses to even see me."_

"_I can arrange for that Iruka. If you will talk to him, I promise to arrange for the both of you to meet."_

_Iruka sighed and looked away. He did not know if he will be able to do it. After everything that had happened, wouldn't it be awkward for the both of them?_

_Asuma seems to have noticed the chunin's hesitation. He continued. "Tsunade-sama has given up trying to talk to him. Jiraiya-sama failed to knock some sense into him. Even all of us, he has turned a deaf ear to all our advices. He's not listening to anyone, Iruka. And the only person whom I think will at least be able to talk some logic into him is you."_

"_And what makes you think he will listen to me?" Iruka rubbed his temples tiredly. "He didn't even avoid meeting you guys. But he went out of his way to keep from meeting me."_

"_Well Iruka, I believe he will listen to you, simply because you are the reason why he is giving up all hope." Asuma said quietly._

_Iruka gave him a befuddled look. "What do you mean?"_

"_I don't know what he saw. But when I met him three nights ago, he was talking out of character. He said that you have someone new and that person will treat you much better than he will. He was practically putting himself down the entire night." Asuma sighed exasperatedly._

_Iruka stared at the older man incredulously. "Where did he get that idea from?"_

_The jounin shrugged. "Who knows? But he said he saw you in the marketplace with another guy four days back."_

_Iruka frowned. Four days back? The market place? Then his eyes widened. "Tsuzumi-sensei?"_

_Asuma raised an eyebrow. "I don't know his name. Kakashi didn't mention anything about the identity of that guy."_

_Iruka's bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes. "What gave him the idea? Tsuzumi-sensei is just a colleague. Moreover, he's engaged."_

"_Tell that to Kakashi. I think your words will weigh a thousand more pounds than ours." Asuma said._

"_I don't know if I will really be able to talk to him, Asuma. Not after all that had happened." The younger man admitted._

_Asuma smiled in understanding. "It's alright, Iruka. Take your time to think it over. When you are ready to see him, let me know and I will arrange for the two of you to meet."_

_Iruka nodded. "Thank you."_

_*****_

_End of flashback_

_*****_

Iruka rolled and buried his face in his pillow. There were too many things going on in his mind and he wasn't really sure that he could deal with it just yet.

For weeks, he had been hoping that he and Kakashi would be able to sort things out and go back to the way that they used to be. But all his efforts had been proven futile. And just when he decided to give up all hope, Asuma have to reignite it in him again.

Can he really still look forward to a positive outcome? Can he be still optimistic about the future?

Iruka stole a glance at the clock on his bedside stand and sighed. It was already eight in the evening. He pushed himself off the bed and strode into the kitchen to prepare his dinner.

He rummaged through his cabinet and decided on what he should cook for himself. In the end, he gave up and settled for cup ramen. He wasn't really in the mood to do any cooking either.

He removed the seal from the cup ramen and poured the boiling water into it.

As he waited for the noodles to be cooked, he slipped his hand into his pants' pocket and pulled out the chain. He stared at the silver band hanging from it as he felt the tears trailing down from the corner of his eyes.

'_Kakashi……'_

=-=-=-=

Iruka walked up to the two chunin sitting at the booth by the gate.

"Hi Kotetsu, Izumo." He greeted warmly.

"Iruka! What are you doing here?" Izumo grinned, pleasantly surprised.

"Did you come and find us to join you for a drink?" Kotetsu leered. "We are on duty, Ruka."

Iruka snorted. "Like I don't know you drink while you are on duty as well. You better don't get yourself caught by any patrolling jounin or Tsunade-sama herself."

"Oh Iruka, you were spying on us?" Kotetsu grinned.

"Like I would even." Iruka scowled.

"Hey Ruka, what are you doing here anyway?" Izumo glanced at him curiously. "It's almost midnight. Shouldn't you be at home sleeping or grading your assignments?"

Iruka stared at Izumo. "I'm here for the midnight shift patrol."

Kotetsu blinked a few times before he pulled out a file from the drawer beside him and flipped through it. "I don't remember seeing your name for tonight's patrol." He said as he traced down the list of names with his finger.

"That's not surprising. My name is not supposed to be there." Iruka eyed him dryly. "I'm here to take on Tsuzumi-sensei's shift."

Izumo choked on the drink that he had just took a gulp from. Kotetsu stared at him, eyes wide and gaping.

"You took over a midnight shift? Are you insane? Why would you when you could be enjoying your Friday night?" Kotetsu asked incredulously.

Iruka shrugged. "Tsuzumi-sensei was called in last minute as well. But he had a prior appointment arranged with his fiancée, so I offered to take the shift for him, so that he can go ahead and celebrate his fiancée's birthday."

"Iruka, you are really too nice for your own good." Kotetsu sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Would you offer to take my gate duty the next time too?"

"Dream on." Iruka shook his head. "So, where am I supposed to be patrolling tonight?"

"Hmm…… Let's see……." Kotetsu flipped the file again. "Since you are taking over Tsuzumi's shift, then it's the……" The spiky-haired chunin trailed off and paled. Izumo glanced at him strangely. Iruka raised an eyebrow.

"Is there any spot in Konoha that is so frightening that you can't even tell me?" Iruka questioned wryly. Kotetsu swallowed hard and looked at him before shaking his head slowly.

"What is it, Ko?" Izumo pulled the file from his friend's hands and scanned through it. Then he swallowed hard as well.

"Izumo?" Iruka frowned.

"Uh well Ruka, you will be patrolling the borders of Konoha tonight." Izumo pointed to the area beyond the giant red gates at the side.

Iruka nodded. "I've done that before. It's nothing scary, is it?"

"That's not it, Ruka." Izumo bit his bottom lip. "Your patrol partner is……."

"…… Here." Kotetsu mumbled. The two men looked at him strangely.

"Pardon?" Iruka blinked.

"Your patrol partner is here. He's walking over." Kotetsu's voice seems to get softer every second as he pointed discreetly to a spot behind the tanned chunin.

Iruka frowned and turned around.

And he froze. He finally understood the reasons why his friends were so hesitant in telling him the details of his patrol.

The crown of familiar silver hair. The infamous slouch only one jounin could possess. And the little orange book that only one person in Konoha would read openly in public.

Iruka was stunned as he remained in the spot, his eyes following the figure that was approaching nearer to the booth. Finally, the person came to a stop a few steps away and spoke in a low voice, his eye still glued to the book.

"So, what's the area for patrol tonight?"

When no answer came, the silver haired jounin looked up in mild irritation. And Iruka could only watch as the lone grey eye met his and widened in shock.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi felt his blood run cold as he stared at the person before him. He swallowed dryly as he watched the colour drained from Iruka's face. He cursed mentally. How could he have been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed the chunin's chakra nearby?

Kotetsu coughed nervously and broke the silence. He turned to Kakashi and pushed a piece of paper towards the jounin. "Um, Kakashi-san, the area for patrol tonight is Konaha's borders. The checklist is here." The chunin shot a nervous glance at Iruka. "And uh, Tsuzumi-san is not able to make it tonight, so Iruka-san is here to take over." He mumbled.

Kakashi flinched at that piece of information. He took the piece of paper with a slightly shaking hand and took in a deep breath to calm himself. He studied the piece of paper and avoided eye contact with his ex-lover. Then he slipped the book in his other hand into his weapons' pouch. He walked towards the tanned chunin and spoke in a quiet voice.

"Let's go."

=-=-=-=

* * *


	12. Chapter 12: Injured

Chapter 12: Injured

Iruka felt himself growing stiffer as he trailed after the taller man. They walked past the gates and into Konoha's forest, neither saying a word. They walked in silence till they reached a clearing. And then the jounin halted in his steps, almost causing Iruka to crash into him.

Iruka watched as Kakashi scribbled something on the checklist, before continuing with his walk through the forest.

He sighed inaudibly. He wasn't exactly prepared to speak to Kakashi yet. And the jounin was being so distant for some reason. He shuffled the pouch on his waist and glanced at the jounin's back.

Iruka felt his heart racing. Kakashi was so near yet so far. Within fingers reach, but yet, seems like he is on the other side of the earth. He looked away and pondered at Asuma's words. If Asuma had been right, if Kakashi really still cares, then this is the only chance he has to talk to the older man and set things straight.

He stared at the ground, wondering if he should really make his move. What if Asuma had been mistaken? What if the jounin had misread the signals sent out by Kakashi? Iruka did not want to look desperate in front of the copy nin. No matter how much he loved the older man, he still has his pride to keep.

Then, he heard a voice asking softly. "Are you feeling better?"

Iruka's head jerked up. Kakashi had stopped in his tracks. But his back was still facing the chunin.

He took two steps tentatively towards the jounin. "Pardon?"

"Are you feeling better? Has your cold recovered?" Kakashi repeated quietly.

"Yes." Iruka bit his lips. "Thanks for your help."

"It's nothing."

There was another tense silence. Then Iruka spoke up. "It meant a lot to me."

Kakashi tensed. He threw a glance over his shoulder to see the chunin staring at the ground with a lost look. His heart ached for the younger man and he turned away. "You shouldn't have come out tonight. Your cold might come back. You know you need some time to fully recover from it." Kakashi sighed. "He should have taken better care of you."

Iruka flinched at the resentful tone and he remembered what Asuma had told him. He glanced back up at the jounin. "Do you still care?"

Kakashi clenched his fist, but did not answer the question. He started walking again. "Let's go. We still have a lot to cover."

"Answer me." Iruka said quietly as he remained in his spot and fought the tears in his eyes. The jounin paused.

"That's not important anymore." Kakashi looked up into the thick canopy above him. "You have someone else to care for you now."

Angry tears flowed from the brown orbs. Iruka reached up a hand to wipe them off. He glared at the older man. "So because of that, you think that you do not have to explain yourself?"

"It's too late to say anything now, isn't it?" Kakashi swallowed the lump in his throat, cursing his own vulnerability in front of the chunin.

Iruka took another step forward. "I still want to hear what you have got to say."

Kakashi closed his eyes. It wouldn't be fair. Iruka had moved on. It wouldn't be fair to hold him back now. Kakashi knew that was the only thing he could offer Iruka and to at least make up for a bit of his guilt – to let the younger man go.

"I have nothing to say."

Iruka clenched his fist. He felt his heart shattering all over again and the hope breaking into a million pieces. He should have known better than to hope that the jounin would say that he still meant a lot to him. He let out a bitter laugh. "I see."

Without another word, he strode past the jounin. Then he stopped.

"Just so you know, I don't have any of those new lovers that you are talking about. If you are referring to Tsuzumi-sensei, then I will have you know that he is just a colleague. But, if you still want to think otherwise, then it's fine with me."

Kakashi's eye widened and his voice caught in his throat. Iruka surveyed his surroundings and then turned to the jounin with steely eyes. "I'm going towards the east. You can take the other direction. We will meet back here at 5am and I will report my findings to you."

Without waiting for a response, Iruka took off. He leapt from tree to tree, venturing further away from the stunned jounin. When he was finally sure that he was far away from the eyes of Kakashi, he collapsed onto the ground.

The tears flowed from his eyes and wet the earth below. He rested his head against the trunk and for the first time since the breakup, he didn't fight off the agony and pain that he was feeling.

=-=-=-=

Kakashi stared at the checklist, reading it over and over again. He wondered if Tsunade would be able to comprehend what he was writing exactly when he wasn't even too sure himself.

After Iruka had left him to his own thoughts, he had been replaying the chunin's words over and over again in his mind. And he couldn't even concentrate on his patrol or the reports that he was writing in the checklist.

Iruka didn't have someone new. Kakashi sighed again at that realization. The fact had hit home to him and he found himself regretting his words towards his ex-lover. He stared crestfallenly at the ground as he trudged back to the meeting point.

Does that mean he still have a chance to make amends? Kakashi wasn't sure anymore. Not after he had hurt Iruka again.

He sat down on the ground and waited. He pulled a pocket watch from his vest. It was ten minutes past five in the morning. He glanced around. Iruka should be arriving any moment soon.

Kakashi closed his eyes and wondered how he should try to explain things to the younger man.

=-=-=-=

Twenty minutes later, Kakashi was pacing around the clearing worriedly. It wasn't like Iruka to be so late. Had something happened? Had the chunin met up with some enemies who had sneaked into Konoha? Kakashi ruffled his hair in frustration. Then, without a second though, he pulled out a kunai and nicked his thumb. Forming a few seals quickly, he slammed his palm on the ground.

When the smoke cleared, Pakkun stared up at him with a bored look. "Yo, boss, what is it?"

"Iruka is late. Find him for me."

Pakkun raised an eyebrow. "The two of you have gotten back together? Congratulations."

Kakashi growled. "We are doing patrol duty. He told me to meet back here at 5am. But it's been past half an hour and he hasn't shown up yet. I'm worried that he may have met up with some troubles."

Pakkun frowned at the information. "I will go and look for him now." He sniffed the air and then took off in the direction that Iruka had headed off to earlier.

Kakashi shoved his hands into his pocket as he waited for his ninken to come back with news.

He didn't have to wait long. Barely ten minutes after Pakkun left him in the clearing, the pug came dashing through the trees at top speed.

"Found him, boss! He's injured."

Kakashi felt his heart missed a skip. He leapt onto the tree branch which his dog had landed on.

"Lead the way."

The ninken flitted through the thick canopy with the shinobi following closely. A moment later, Pakkun leapt from the tree branch to the ground below. Kakashi followed and felt his breath hitched when he caught sight of the chunin.

He turned to Pakkun. "Let me handle this. You may go."

Pakkun nodded. "Send my regards to him." With that, the dog disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Kakashi approached the injured man under the tree. Iruka was grimacing in pain and he did not seem to notice the jounin walking towards him.

"Iruka?"

The chunin jerked and looked up. The action caused another pain to course through his body. He winced.

Kakashi finally saw the wound on Iruka's leg. He hurried over and knelt down beside the younger man, examining the wound.

"This is bad. What happened? Have you been attacked? Was there an enemy?"

Iruka shook his head. "No. I triggered a stray trap."

"A trap?" Kakashi stared at him in surprise. "Why is there even a trap in the middle of Konoha's forest?"

"I wish I knew." Iruka winced again as he tried to move his leg. "The trap was over there." He pointed weakly to a distance away from where he was seating.

Kakashi walked over cautiously, watching his surroundings for any other traps. Then he examined the triggered trap and frowned. He walked back to the chunin and pulled out bandages from his pouch.

"It's a jounin-level trap. Someone must have set it up for training or to avoid being disturbed and forgot to disengage it." Kakashi's hands moved swiftly to wrap up the deep gash and stop the bleeding. "This is a nasty one. We've got to get back to the village to get it treated."

Iruka was silent as he watched the older man worked. Kakashi's voice was shaking, as he struggled to keep his panic under control. The jounin made quick work of the patching and fastened the bandage before helping him to his feet.

"Can you walk?" He eyed Iruka. The chunin was surprised to hear worry in the tone.

"I guess." Iruka winced and tried to lean his weight on his good leg. Kakashi sighed and before Iruka could even react, the jounin had lifted him up into his arms.

"Kakashi?"

"We will travel faster this way." The jounin leapt up onto one of the branches and then propelled forward, heading towards the direction of the village.

=-=-=-=

* * *


	13. Chapter 13: Confessions

**A/N: Maa... My apologies. I actually uploaded the wrong story previously. =.= Sorry... I didn't actually read through before I posted, thus, the mistake. Guess that's the results when I try to update while juggling with a headache. Haha... Thanks to you guys for pointing it out. ^_^ So, here it is! **

* * *

Chapter 13: Confessions

Tsunade patched up the wound and sighed. "It's done, Iruka. This is really a nasty one. Try not to move around too much for the next three days. The wound may open up again."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama." Iruka tried to push himself off the chair, but Tsunade motioned for him to stay put. She glanced at the jounin leaning against the wall behind Iruka.

"So Kakashi, can you please tell me now, how on earth did Iruka get that awful cut on his leg?" Tsunade glared at him, displeased with the fact that Kakashi hadn't said anything since coming in, other than telling her to treat the injury.

"A stray trap. He got caught in it while on patrol duty."

"A stray trap? Patrol duty?" Tsunade glanced from the jounin to the academy teacher sitting in front of her. "I don't remember putting you on patrol duty, Iruka."

"Tsuzumi-san wasn't able to cover the shift last night due to some reasons. So I told him I would do it instead." Iruka smiled awkwardly.

"I see." Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temple. She studied the two shinobi for a moment before turning to look at the copy nin. "Kakashi, finish up what you started. Bring Iruka back for some rest. Don't let him move around too much for today."

"I didn't start anything." Kakashi muttered.

"I don't care! You disturbed my rest! So now, bring him back and leave me in peace!" Tsunade growled. "Take it as a mission and you are excused from patrol duty tonight."

Kakashi sighed. But he did not protest. He merely walked over quietly to help an uncomfortable Iruka to his feet and leaned the chunin's weight against him, as he helped the younger man out of the room.

Mission or not, he had to make sure that Iruka recovers from the injury. That's the least he could do. He would deal with his emotions later.

=-=-=-=

Tsunade watched as the two left her office. A smirk formed on her face. Let's hope that Kakashi will know how to make use to the opportunity and set things straight with Iruka.

She glanced around her room, and when she made sure it was clear, she opened the drawer in her desk and pulled out a sake bottle and cup. She licked her lips in glee. Well, since they woke her up from her rest, she would need to have something else to keep her awake for the rest of the day. And what better things are there other than a bottle of good sake.

=-=-=-=

The walk back to the apartment was awkward. Both of them were silent, neither knowing what to say. Kakashi sighed inwardly, fighting off the urge to use his transportation jutsu to get the both of them back faster and avoid the tension that was rising. But it wouldn't do to have Iruka know that the jounin was aware where he was staying. If Iruka had moved so far away from Kakashi, then surely he didn't want the older man to know where he is staying. The chunin might get angry that he had been spied on all these while.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity to them, they reached the small apartment which Iruka was staying currently. The chunin unlocked the door and let the both of them in. Kakashi slipped off his sandals and bent down to help the chunin removed his.

Iruka watched quietly. He didn't know if he should be thankful that Tsunade had sent Kakashi back with him, so that he had a chance to talk to the older man, or that he should curse Tsunade for making things so difficult for him when he is trying to forget his relationship with the jounin.

Kakashi kicked the door close and helped Iruka into the bedroom. Gently setting the chunin into bed, he examined the bandage and noticed the blood seeping through it. He sighed.

"It's bleeding. I will change the bandage."

Iruka nodded. "The medic kit is in the bathroom." He watched with uncertainty as Kakashi retreated to the adjoining bathroom and rummaged through the cabinet for the kit. The jounin came back a moment later with gauzes and bandages in his hands.

Iruka stared out of the window as the copy nin changed the bandage on his leg. He bit on his bottom lip and closed his eyes, wondering if this is really a good time to talk about things. He knew that if he doesn't, he won't know when will be the next opportunity that he will get. But if he does, he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to say either.

He turned back and stared at Kakashi who was tightening the bandage around the wound and knotting the ends up. Before he could even think of what to do next, his hand had moved on its own accord and placed it over Kakashi's, halting all movements.

Kakashi tensed and looked up hesitantly, staring right into the pleading eyes.

Iruka's voice was soft as he spoke. "Kakashi, please, be fair to me. I need to know. Do you really still care?"The chunin looked at him imploringly. "At least let me know, so that I know when I need to move on."

The jounin was stunned. How was he to answer that? He bowed his head and stared at the hand on top of his. His thumb moved and rubbed soothing circles on the back of the chunin's hand. And then, taking in a deep breath, he looked up again, staring right into the chunin's eyes. He brought up a hand and trailed the pale fingers along the tanned cheek.

"Yes, I do." He traced his thumb against the cheekbone. "Always have been."

Iruka was silent after that. And then he smiled softly as he felt a weight lift from his heart. Tears brimmed in the corner of his brown orbs. "Thank you. That's enough for me."

Kakashi closed his eyes and swallowed hard. His control broke. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around a stunned chunin.

"I'm sorry." He said brokenly. "It's my fault. I'm sorry. I wanted to look you up, but I didn't know how to even start talking to you. I've hurt you bad, Iruka."

Iruka's eyes softened and he smiled sadly as he wrapped his arms around the masked neck. The tears streamed down his cheeks and he shook his head. "It's alright. I'm alright. Really Kakashi, you don't have to force yourself to do anything more. Knowing you care is good enough for me. It's enough to get me going."

Kakashi's arms tightened as he muttered on. "I'm sorry. I was the one who caused things to turn out the way it is today. I'm not even worthy to apologize to you. I've done too many things to let you down."

"Don't say anymore. I know. I understand." Iruka buried his face in the jounin's shoulder. "I know what you are getting at. But please, don't give me false hopes anymore. It's enough that you still care for me. I'm content in knowing just that."

"I never meant to hurt you, Iruka. I never meant to hit you. I've failed you so many times over. I won't blame you even if you hate me. I deserve it, I know. But I love you. I still do." The jounin's voice was muffled.

Iruka's eyes widened and he pulled back, staring right into the jounin's face and trying to see any hints of a lie. He knew he couldn't take anymore of the jounin's lies and he would rather Kakashi tell him to leave him alone than to lie about loving him.

But all he saw was a despondent look in the single grey eye and he could detect no deceit in the words. His thumb trailed the streak of tear stain on the jounin's face, below the sharingan eye.

"I will never hate you, Kakashi. You mean too much to me." He looked at Kakashi miserably as the truth drilled right into his heart. "You've done so much for me. I…. I just can't forget it all." More tears streamed down the tanned cheeks, cutting the jounin's heart into shreds.

"Iruka…… I'm sorry to have to put you through this." A pale hand swept off the tears on Iruka's cheeks as a single grey eye met the tearful brown orbs. "I'm sorry. I never meant for it to turn out like this. How could you even forgive me? Of all people, I forgot who you were. I denied you, I hit you and I hurt you. I don't deserve you at all."

Iruka shook his head. "It's alright, Kakashi. I'm fine." He wrapped his arms around the jounin's neck, a sad smile on his face. "Let's work things out. I want us to work this out together. We've been avoiding the issue long enough. Kakashi, please. Don't leave me so stranded anymore. I need an answer."

Kakashi nodded as he held the chunin tighter. They will work things out. It doesn't matter what the future holds. As long as Iruka is still willing to listen, he will say all that he needs to.

=-=-=-=

* * *


	14. Chapter 14: Mending Hurts

**A/N: Alright. I hope this chapter isn't disappointing. ^_^ And I hope it makes up for all that angst in the previous chapters and the last story. Thanks to all of you for reviewing that last chapter. Cheers to you all. This chapter is for you! Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 14: Mending Hurts

Kakashi set a cup of tea on the dining table, in front of Iruka. The younger man was silent as Kakashi took his seat opposite him. Both of them had finally calmed down after the confession earlier on and they were beginning to think on clearer grounds, trying to piece things together and work it out.

Neither said a word. The atmosphere was tensed as they tried to decipher what the other was thinking. Finally, Kakashi raked a hand through his hand.

"Iruka, I……."

"First things first." The chunin stared into his eye. "Why didn't you look me up after you have recovered?"

"I……." Kakashi sighed. "I'm sorry."

Iruka reached over the table and placed a hand on the jounin's. Kakashi almost flinched at the contact.

"I don't want an apology, Kakashi. I want an explanation." Iruka pleaded softly, imploring for the jounin to speak his mind.

The silver-haired man looked away. Then he sighed, knowing that he has hidden from Iruka for long enough and that it is time for him to come clean. That's the least he could do to be fair to the younger man.

"I…… I didn't know how to face you, Iruka. I can't look at you without remembering all those hurt that I have done to you."

"I never blamed you for all that." Iruka's eyes softened. "You should know me better than that, Kakashi. You should know that I understood why you did all that. It wasn't your fault."

"I hurt you." Kakashi choked out. "That's a fact. No matter who was the one who caused it, it was a fact that I was the one who carried out that act."

Iruka withdrew his hand. He closed his eyes and he took in a deep breath.

"You didn't hurt me with those denials." Iruka started as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "You didn't hurt me with that punch. And you didn't hurt me with your words." The chunin opened his eyes and stared at the table.

"The time when you really hurt me deep was when you did not look for me after you have recovered. You hurt me when you did nothing to salvage our relationship. And you hurt me when you distant yourself from me, even when you remembered our relationship and you remembered who I was."

Kakashi was silent as guilt hit him. Iruka looked up from the table.

"I couldn't blame you when you lost your memories. No matter how much you denied me and our relationship, I still hang in there because I held on to the belief that you would recover one day." Tears welled up in the corner of the chunin's eyes. "But when you recovered and you did not look for me even once, I felt that hope slowly crumbling. And I began to question myself if you really do still love me or if you ever did."

Iruka paused, as he tried to keep down his emotions and stopped himself from breaking down. "I tried to tell myself that you need time to adjust back. Time and again, I convinced myself that I need to be patient and wait for you to come back. I waited. But every day, that hope just seems to get bleaker. And then, after hoping against a futile hope for such a long time, I'm finally convinced that you are never coming back and that it's really over between us."

Iruka bit on his lips as the tears flowed from his eyes. "I didn't want to believe it. But, it was a fact that I had to face. I knew I cannot hold on to a one-sided love anymore. And it really broke my heart when I have to believe that you no longer love me. That was when you hurt me the most, Kakashi."

"I do, Iruka." Kakashi's voice trembled. "My love for you has never wavered once."

"Now I know." Iruka smiled softly. "And at least, the most important question that I have has been answered."

"I never meant for this." The jounin pulled down his mask and rubbed his face. "I never meant to hurt you like that. I just wanted for you to be happy."

Iruka stared at the jounin, stunned for a second. Then he folded his arms on the top of the table. "Why would you think that I would be happy without you?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Kakashi swallowed hard. "You wouldn't have someone who is on the risk of failing you at any time. You wouldn't have to bear with someone who doesn't even know how to care for you. You would be able to pursue your own happiness without a burden to hold you back."

Iruka shook his head slowly and averted his gaze. "You think too little of our love, Kakashi. You think too little of my love for you." He paused. Then he lifted his gaze and met the jounin's. "The only time you failed me, was when you failed to give me a clear explanation and it led to the situation that we are in today. I have someone who cared for me. Or at least I _had_ until you chose to leave me. And I didn't have to pursue any happiness. I had my happiness till you gave up on the relationship."

"I'm sorry." Kakashi mumbled, as another wave of guilt hitting him square in the chest.

"Kakashi, don't apologize. I just want you to tell me. What are we now?" Iruka watched him tentatively.

Kakashi was silent. And then, he shook his head slowly. "I… I don't know."

"We promised to work this out. We promised to talk things through. Don't give me such vague answers, Kakashi." Iruka pleaded softly, desperately holding on to that last bit of hope in his heart.

"I don't know, Iruka. I want to be fair to you." Kakashi buried his face in his hands. "I can't expect you to just take me back after what I have done to you. I can't expect you to pretend that nothing had happened and move back to the life that we used to lead. I can't treat you like that."

Iruka leaned over and held the jounin's hand. "It's alright, Kakashi. I can pretend nothing happened. As long as we can make things right again, I can forget everything and continue from where we left off."

"But I can't." The jounin raised his head and met the warm brown eyes of the chunin. "I want to make it up to you, Ruka. But…." He sighed and pulled back. "I want to be fair to you. I need some time to think things through."

The chair scrapped across the floor as the jounin pushed his chair back and stood up. He turned and stepped away from the table.

"Are you going to leave?" Iruka asked softly as he fought back the hurt. "Are you going to walk out on me again?"

Kakashi froze at the statement. He turned around slowly and almost flinched at the crestfallen look on Iruka's face. He felt the urge to just go over to the younger man's side and comfort him.

"Iruka……"

Iruka shook his head sadly as he stood up and limped over to where the jounin was standing. He stopped a few steps away and looked at him. "If you step out that door, then, take back all your words and your confessions from earlier on and don't ever look me up again. I don't need your lies to get on. If you leave now, then I will take it that it's really over between us. I won't hope for anything anymore."

Kakashi couldn't say a word. He looked up to meet the desperate gaze in the chunin's eyes. Iruka wanted him to stay. That much was obvious. The younger man was willing to give their relationship another try. So why was he still holding back? Did he really want to give up on their love, their life and seal the chunin out of his heart totally?

Deep down, he knew he can't. Iruka was his last anchor, holding him down to the reality of the world and keeping the last bit of sanity and humanity in him. Without the younger man, he knew he would sink into the darker depths of his mind and never surface from it again.

He took two stumbling steps towards the other man.

"Iruka….."

At the jounin's slight movements towards him, Iruka threw away his reservations and limped up to him, closing the last bit of distance between them. He threw his arms around the pale neck, as Kakashi tried to gather his thoughts together and react to Iruka.

"Don't leave." Iruka whimpered. "Don't leave me alone." His hands clutched on tightly to the jounin. Kakashi closed his eyes and wrapped his shaking arms around the lithe frame. He swallowed hard, knowing that this is the last chance that he has and if he is truly a genius, he should know that he needs to treasure it and hold on to it.

He pulled the younger man closer when he felt the chunin's tears hitting the exposed part of his neck. "I won't. I'm here to stay. As long as you will keep me, I will stay." His voice choked from the strain at the sight of his anguished lover.

The tears spill from the chunin's eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around Kakashi, burying his face in the broad shoulders and the tears staining the jounin's vest. Kakashi ran his trembling fingers through the brown locks soothingly as he whispered comforting words and soft promises.

"Don't go." Iruka whimpered. Kakashi felt his heart clenched tighter at the hopeless tone in the chunin's voice. He tightened his embrace and pulled the younger man closer.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, love. I'm here. Always will be." He pulled back a little, tilting the chunin's face and eyeing him guiltily. Then, he wiped the tears gently away from the tanned cheeks. "I know I'm not good enough for you, Iruka. But, I don't want to let go. I want to give this another try. I don't want to fail you again."

Iruka nodded as the jounin leaned forward and kissed away the tears, trailing gently across the cheeks and then, his lips pressed against Iruka's quivering ones. That lost warm feeling for so long filled Kakashi's senses.

Then, Iruka returned the kiss, hesitantly at first and slowly, he gave in more, as the months of pent up frustrations and emotions flowed through.

Kakashi reveled in the taste and the warmth that he had missed for so long, hugging tighter the one person that he had longed for every night. Finally, everything felt right. Finally, that void was filled again. Finally, Iruka is back in his arms.

Both of them stood in the dining area, holding each other close, long after the kiss broke. Nothing mattered as long as the other is there. Iruka closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around the jounin's waist as the arms around him held on to him.

And for the first time in a long while, a contented smile graced his lips.

=-=-=-=

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	15. Chapter 15: Reassurance

**A/N: Well, this is just a short chapter. More of to wrap up their reconciliation. I'm working on the last two chapters and I hope that I will be able to get it up soon. ^_^ Thanks for all the reviews!**

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Chapter 15: Reassurance

Iruka stirred and winced when a pain shot through his leg. He glanced at the clock beside him. It was past eight at night. He hadn't realized he had slept for so long. The events from earlier on in the day were still fresh in his mind. He reached over and felt the spot next to him in the small bed.

It was empty.

He sat up immediately and ignored the pain that shot through his body again. He turned and lost his balance, stumbling out of bed.

The bedroom door opened and someone came running up to him.

"Iruka, are you alright? What do you think you are doing?"

The chunin grimaced in pain and looked at the person hovering over him. "Kurenai?" His world spun. He was definitely sure that Kakashi had been with him earlier on in the day. Had the jounin left again? Had it all been a dream or was it really an overactive figment of imagination on his part?

"Come on, be careful." The kunoichi helped him up and steadied him on his good feet, before helping him over to the bed to sit down. "You are bleeding again." She frowned when she noticed the dark stain on the light-coloured slacks that Iruka was wearing.

"Kakashi……" Iruka stared blankly at the door. Kurenai raised an eyebrow and then smiled in understanding.

"He went over to Tsunade-sama to pick up some medicine for your injury. He said that it wouldn't stop bleeding. Asuma is with him and they will pick up dinner on their way back." She sat down beside the chunin and held his hands in hers. "I'm glad that the two of you had finally sorted things out. I actually heard from Kotetsu that you were injured when I came back from my mission earlier on and I came over with Asuma to check on you. We couldn't believe our eyes when Kakashi was the one who opened the door. I'm happy for you, Iruka."

Iruka felt the relief flooding through him at the kunoichi's assurance. Kakashi did not leave him again. He had just gone out to run some errands. He would be back. Iruka couldn't help the smile that lit up on his face. "Thank you."

The sound of keys at the front door made both of them looked up. Kurenai stood up and walked over to the bedroom door and called out. "I'm glad the two of you are back. Kakashi, Iruka's wound is bleeding again."

There was the rustling of paper bags and then, the silver-haired jounin popped his head into the room.

"Iruka?" He looked uncertainly from the tanned chunin to the kunoichi standing beside the door.

"I don't know what he wanted to do, but he rolled out of bed just now." Kurenai sighed. "So, just go and patch up that wound before he bleeds to death."

Kakashi walked up to Iruka with a bag in his hand. Kurenai shook her head and smiled before retreating out of the room and closed the door behind her, leaving the two to their own privacy.

The copy nin rolled up the slacks and removed the blood-stained bandages. He retrieved some new bandages and medication from the bag he was carrying and started applying it on the wound gently.

"You should have called instead of trying to get out of bed yourself." Kakashi said as he began wrapping the bandage around the chunin's leg. "Tsunade-sama told you not to move around too much."

"I thought you were gone again." Iruka said softly.

Kakashi paused in his actions. He took a brief glance at the chunin and then finished patching up the wound. He moved over and sat down on the bed, pulling the younger man gently against him.

"I'm sorry. But I promised, didn't I? I won't ever leave you again." He pressed a kiss on the top of the chunin's head.

Iruka closed his eyes. "Will you be staying tonight?"

"If you want me to." The jounin said. Iruka looked up at the older man. Then he smiled softly.

"Stay with me."

Kakashi smiled. "I will. I've bought dinner. Shall we get you something to eat?"

Iruka nodded and Kakashi stood up, helping the younger man to his feet. Leaning Iruka's weight against him, he slipped his arm around the lean waist and helped the chunin out of the room slowly.

Iruka leaned against the older man and smiled. There were still doubts that need clarifications and problems that need solving. They still have issues that they need to sort through and things they need to talk about. He wasn't even sure if they would be able to go back like they used to be.

But whatever it is, Iruka is grateful. Even with all the uncertainties in his mind now, even if the past events had put him in weeks of hurt and anguish, at least, Kakashi has finally come back to him.

=-=-=-=

Asuma and Kurenai finally left, with the promise that they would keep their mouths shut about the reconciliation of Kakashi and Iruka until the couple had all their issues sorted out. The jounin entered the bedroom after having cleared the kitchen, to find Iruka sitting in bed, reading a book.

When he walked over, Iruka looked up with a smile. "The bed is a little small. But I'm sure it will fit us both nicely."

"I'm sure." Kakashi returned the smile and removed his shirt. He moved over and examined the bandage on Iruka's leg to make sure that it wasn't bleeding again. When he was satisfied that everything was in place, he climbed into bed, and into the waiting arms of his lover.

His lover.

Kakashi smiled at that thought. After all those troubles that they had gone through, they were finally back together again.

Iruka shifted to make space for the jounin. When the older man was settled in nicely, he snuggled against the warm body and pressed a soft kiss on the pale chest.

"I miss being like this." Iruka whispered. Kakashi wrapped an arm around the younger man and pulled him closer, taking care not to aggravate the leg injury.

"Shall we move back home?" The jounin asked, a little tentatively. He wasn't sure if Iruka was ready for that yet. He felt Iruka tensed a little and he sighed inwardly. He should have known that he needs to hold the question back. There was a moment of silence before Iruka finally spoke.

"Before that, I want to ask you something." The younger man looked up at his lover. Kakashi raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"Are you still going to go back to ANBU?"

Kakashi tensed. How did Iruka know about that? In fact, from the time since he and Iruka had reconciled that afternoon, that request to the Hokage had slipped his mind.

Iruka pressed himself closer. "Kakashi, please don't. Your jounin duties are already hazardous enough. ANBU is even worse. I can't risk losing you again."

The older man smiled and pressed a kiss on the younger man's forehead. "I will talk to Tsunade-sama tomorrow and retract that request."

"So you are going to take back Naruto and Sakura under your wings?"

"I guess." Kakashi shrugged. "Tsunade-sama won't let me get away with doing nothing."

Iruka chuckled softly. "Naruto will be so happy. And Sakura too. They haven't been taking it well since they heard that you will be leaving the team."

Kakashi sighed. "I guess I should be thankful for having them."

Iruka nodded as he slipped his arms around the jounin's waist and smiled. "Kashi, do you have any idea how dusty our apartment will be? No one has been there for so long."

The older man smiled at his younger lover's subtle hint in agreeing to move back. "Well, since you cleaned out my apartment the last time when I was injured, I will take on the responsibility to clean _our_ apartment now that you are the casualty." He stared into the warm brown eyes and smiled. "I will be sure to do a good job."

=-=-=-=

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	16. Chapter 16: Sweet Promises

**A/N: The final chapter! There will be an epilogue to close this up, which I'm still working on. So yep, enjoy!**

**And I would definitely love to thank each and everyone of you who has been following this story faithfully and giving your reviews to keep me going. Those reviews definitely serves as a guide, encouragement, support and so much more. I'm grateful for that. ^_^ And for those I couldn't reply, know that the reviews are much appreciated too, just that I wasn't able to PM you personally to tell you, because I didn't know your user name.**

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Chapter 16: Sweet Promises

"I still don't understand how I'm being dragged into this." Asuma dusted the mantelpiece with a cloth and grumbled under his breath. "This cleaning is going to take forever with just three of us doing it."

Kurenai smiled wryly. "Well you see, only the two of us know that they are back together. So naturally, we will be the ones to get roped into cleaning their apartment to prepare for them to move back. And, if you would stop complaining every five minutes, you could get more work done, I'm sure."

At that moment, Kakashi pushed the front door open and dropped the cleaning supplies in his arms onto the floor. He sighed as he glanced around the apartment.

He knew how to kill and spy and gather information. He knew how to spar and use jutsus and strategize. He even knew how to interrogate and torture and break enemies when the need arises. And perhaps, he knew a little cooking here and there to save lives.

But then, this was beyond his genius brain. He had absolutely no idea how to clean up an entire apartment. He didn't even know where to start. He was beginning to appreciate his chunin a little more.

"Pick up that cloth and start cleaning, Kakashi. Staring won't make your apartment any cleaner." Asuma snorted.

Kakashi sighed again and decided that he could do with some help. Forming a few signs, he slapped his palm on the ground and summoned his dogs.

The smoke cleared and eight dogs sniffed the air in curiosity. Pakkun swiped a paw across his face to ease an itch and looked at him with boredom.

"So, what now?"

"Clean up this place." Kakashi stared at him passively.

The pug blinked twice. "What?"

"Clean up this place." The jounin repeated.

The ninken looked around. "This is your other apartment. You are moving back?"

"Yes."

"Then what about your old apartment?" The nin-dog snorted.

"I'm intending to sell it."

"I see." Pakkun nodded. "Then why rope us in to clean it?"

"Because I need it to be cleaned up soon." Kakashi was getting impatient. "Will you just stop asking and get down to work?"

The pug stretched himself and walked around the apartment. "I thought you were already pretty settled in your old apartment. What makes you change your mind to move back?" Pakkun swiped a paw pass the ledge and glanced at the layer of dust that had accumulated. His face scrunched up in distaste. Then he turned to look at his master. "And I thought you were never bothered by dust, since you are always out for missions and hardly at home. So, why bother cleaning up?"

Kakashi picked up a rag and started cleaning the window. "I'm not. But Iruka will be at home. I can't have him living in a dusty place, can I?"

Pakkun stared at him in surprise. "He's moving back too?"

"Yes." Was the curt reply.

"The two of you got back together?"

Kakashi growled. "Yes."

"So I have steaks to eat from now on?"

The jounin stopped what he was doing at glared at his dog. "No, if you don't start working in getting this house cleaned up. And I swear, if you do anything to worsen the situation, you will pay for it."

The other nin-ken cringed at the threat. Pakkun snorted. "Fine. So, where do we start?"

=-=-=-=

Kakashi opened the door and maneuvered Iruka into the apartment. He led him gently over to the couch and sat him down.

Iruka studied the apartment, taking in the familiar sight once again. Comparing the apartment from his memories to what he is seeing now, the place seems to have been done up quite a fair bit with all the photo frames hanging from the wall. He hadn't expected that he would ever come back here and the nostalgic feeling brought tears to his eyes once more.

But this time, it was tears of happiness.

Kakashi set a cup of tea in front of the chunin and knelt down before him. "What's wrong?" He reached up and wiped the tears away.

Iruka shook his head and gave him a smile. "Nothing. Just that this place brings back a lot of memories. I still remember the night when I left. I thought I would never get another chance to come back again."

Kakashi sighed and pulled down his mask, rubbing his face to freshen up himself. He sat down beside Iruka, pulling the younger man to rest against him. "I will make it up to you, Ruka."

"No." Iruka slipped his arms around the jounin's waist. "Let's just forget what happened, Kakashi. Now that you are back with me, I just want to look forward to the future. I don't want to think about all those bad memories. I don't want any awkwardness between us because of that incident."

Kakashi smiled. "Whatever you wish, love."

Iruka hummed and nodded. Then the older man pulled away a little. Iruka looked up at him in curiosity. But Kakashi merely rummaged through his pants pocket for something.

And then, he held up the chunin's hand and pressed something into it, with a smile on his face. "This should go back to its rightful owner."

The younger man stared at the keys in his hand and smiled in bliss. He studied the keychain tagged to it and closed his fingers over the keys and clutched them tightly, holding it close to his chest. "You kept it well."

"Of course." Kakashi planted a small kiss on his boyfriend's nose. "I have to give it back to you in good condition. I'm a responsible man and I will keep things that are entrusted to me well enough."

Iruka chuckled. "I'm glad. But I certainly don't wish for another time when I have to give this back."

Kakashi turned solemn as he tilted the chunin's chin and looked into his eyes. "I won't let you go through that a second time. I promise." He ran a hand through his hair.

Iruka laughed softly and traced his fingers across the jounin's chest. "Accidents happen, Kakashi. How are you going to ensure that?"

"Well, for starters, I'm selling off my old apartment. So that if such a thing ever happens again, I will have no other place to call home, except here." Kakashi smiled. "And, if you haven't noticed, I've put up all the pictures that we had ever taken all over the house, so that if I ever lose my memories again, they will serve as a reminder to me of all those times we spent together."

Iruka felt a warm feeling in his heart at the jounin's sweet gesture. "Where did you find them?" He looked at Kakashi, amused.

"From my photo albums." Kakashi chuckled. "I wonder why we never put all those up."

"There's too many of them, Kashi." Iruka smiled. "How on earth are we going to find so many places to put them up?"

"Well, I did." Kakashi ran his fingers through the brown locks soothingly. "They are all over the apartment now."

Iruka grinned. Kakashi reached into his shirt and tugged at his chain, pulling it off his neck and holding it in front of his lover. "And this, Ruka."

The chunin raised an eyebrow as he studied the silver chain and the identity tag hanging from it.

"Your identity tag? What about it?" He gave the jounin a befuddled look.

Kakashi placed the tag on his palm. "Identity tags are a shinobi's life. No one other than the owner of those tags is allowed to touch it. The only time when an identity tag is handed to another person is when the shinobi of that tag is dead."

Iruka nodded as he read the engraved inscriptions on the silver piece of metal. Kakashi continued. "On one side of the tag, is where our identities are carved on. And on the other side, it's usually empty." The jounin flipped the tag over to the other side. "But, sometimes, shinobi do carve words or memories on it, so that they have something close to their hearts to hold on to when they go out on missions."

Iruka leaned forward to get a clearer look at the markings made on the supposedly empty side of the tag. When he finally managed to decipher what was on it, tears filled his eyes and he looked up at the jounin. Kakashi smiled as his fingers traced the newly carved inscriptions on his tag.

"My name?" Iruka asked breathlessly. "You carved my name on your tag?"

"Yes. So that whenever I go out on missions, I am reminded that I have someone that I need to come home to." Kakashi leaned in closer. "And, since no one other than me can touch this tag, I will know that I'm the one who carved these words on it. It will tell me that someone, who goes by the name of 'Umino Iruka', is a person who is important in my life and precious to me."

Iruka smiled as the jounin pressed their lips together and sealed the promise with a kiss.

When they broke apart, Iruka smiled and leaned his forehead against the jounin's. "Thank you, Kakashi."

"No. I should be the one saying thank you." Kakashi smiled. "Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for still being there for me when I made so many stupid mistakes. And thank you for still taking me back after so many things had happened."

"Don't Kakashi. Promise you won't talk about that incident anymore. And don't thank me. That's part of our commitment to each other, isn't it?"

Kakashi sighed as he looked at the warm brown eyes. "Yes. But still, I'm grateful to have you here with me. And I promise to commit much more to you from now on."

Iruka traced the features on the jounin's face as he laughed softly. Then he cupped the pale face and looked warmly into the single grey eye. "Welcome home, love."

The copy nin pulled his lover into an embrace and buried his face in the tuft of brown hair. "Yes. I'm back in my rightful home."

=-=-=-=

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	17. Chapter 17: Epilogue

**A/N: And right, here you go. The epilogue which I would have posted up earlier, but I was dead beat after work yesterday. =.= But nonetheless, I hope you will still enjoy it. An epilogue that isn't really an epilogue or well, a conclusion to the already happy ending. ^_^ **

**I know I said this many times. But I still want to say it again. Thank you everyone, for your support towards this story and also to Remember Me. If I ever do a prequel for this series, I will be sure to dedicate to all of you here. And sorry about this, I would have listed out each and everyone of you who have reviewed, commented, critic and well, supported this series. But, I'm just too tired now. I can barely keep my eyes open. So well, you know who you are, and I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart. Cheers to all of you!**

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Epilogue

Iruka yawned and stretched himself. He glanced at the clock in the classroom. It was almost four in the afternoon. Classes had ended three hours ago, but he was still there, grading the never-ending stack of assignments.

He ran a finger down his pants, feeling the faded scar on his leg. It had almost been a week since he had gotten that injury and it was recovering well. The wound had closed up and Tsunade had infused enough chakra in it to expedite the recovery.

The classroom door slid open and he looked up from the assignments which he had turned his attention back to. Someone slipped in with a smile.

"Anko." Iruka smiled.

"Hey Iruka, I heard from Izumo that you got injured a week ago. How are you now?" The kunoichi frowned. Iruka studied his friend and noticed the dried blood stains and dirt that decorated the light-colored jacket.

"I'm alright. The wound is all healed now. You just got back from a mission?"

"That's good. You got me worried for a minute." Anko yawned and nodded. "Yeah, I just got back. Man, this mission took longer than expected."

"It's only a week." Iruka chuckled. Anko stared at her friend's expression for a minute.

"You look much better, Iruka." Anko grinned. "I'm glad you are getting over the breakup."

Iruka blinked. And then he blushed, knowing that Anko still isn't aware of what is going on. "Uh…… I guess."

Anko observed the chunin's hesitation and stared at him suspiciously. "Something up?"

Iruka shook his head hurriedly, and then changed the subject. "You should go back and get cleaned up. Are you injured?"

"No." Anko stretched herself. Then she looked at him again, wondering if she was missing out on something. "Hey, it's Friday night. So, how about going out for some drinks tonight?"

"Uh, I can't." His cheeks colored red again. Anko raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, why?"

"I have something on tonight."

Anko propped herself on the table and bent down to study her friend. "Do you have a new beau, Iruka?"

Iruka blinked dumbly. "No. What gave you that idea?"

"That's because, you look suspicious. You are blushing and stammering. So what else can that mean? So, what do you have on tonight?" The purple-haired lady narrowed her eyes.

"Uh well……."

The classroom door slid open again.

"Ruka?"

Iruka's face turned red as Anko turned her head and stared at the person at the door. She narrowed her eyes slightly as she studied the relaxed figure at the door and then back at her blushing friend, who was desperately trying to avert his gaze. Then her eyes widened in surprise as she pieced their reactions together and understanding dawned on her. She turned back to Iruka with a broad smile on her face.

"Ah…. I see. Now I know what you have on tonight." Anko poked at the chunin's arm. "You should have told me! When did the two of you……"

Iruka sighed. "Stop that, Anko. Really, now is not the time to talk about it yet."

"Don't care. Spill. How can you even think of hiding it from me?" Anko folded her arms and pouted.

"I will tell you, Anko. But next time." Iruka smiled at her awkwardly. "We just……. Um…. It's just been a week and we are still sorting out some stuff."

The kunoichi frowned and then shrugged. "Fine then. I'm too tired to interrogate you now anyway. I will go back and refresh myself first. But don't take too long. I'm looking forward to hearing the whole story. Oh, and get yourself ready for any possible questioning session." The snake user grinned and pushed off the desk. She strode out of the door and waved to the person watching them in mild amusement. "See you around, Kakashi."

The silver-haired jounin nodded slightly as Anko walked pass him and disappeared down the corridor. He turned and strode up to his lover. "What's with her?"

Iruka shrugged. "Same as usual. Trying to get her hands on the latest news." Kakashi laughed.

"My, you make it sound like she's some gossip monger."

"Well, she is. She's our source for all the latest news in the village." Iruka grinned. "But, I have to give her credit too. She's a good friend."

"I would think so. She seems pretty concerned about you." Kakashi smiled and bent down to press a quick kiss on the tanned forehead.

Iruka smiled. "So, what brings you here? I would have thought you would go straight home after finishing your errands for Hokage-sama."

"Well, I'm here to bring you home. How can I even think of going back alone when you are still busying yourself here?" The jounin smiled as he shifted and massaged his lover's neck to ease the tension.

"I thought we agreed to keep our reconciliation under wraps for the moment? Isn't this as good as telling the whole of Konoha that we are back together?" Iruka closed his eyes and relaxed into the gesture.

"There's no point, don't you think? They will find out soon enough, since we have already moved back together." Kakashi pressed a soft kiss on the top of the chunin's head. "Shall we go grab some takeouts and head home?"

Iruka sighed. "I would love to. But I have too many things to finish grading today."

"Bring it home to grade. I think I would prefer waiting up for you on the couch than in the classroom." Kakashi chuckled.

"That's conditional love, Kakashi. I would assume you would wait up for me wherever I'm grading the papers." Iruka said teasingly.

Kakashi stared at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at the chunin with a grin. "Yes, it's conditional. Because I simply don't think that this chair here is as good as the one at home and definitely not good for your back if you are going to sit on it for such an extended period of time. And it's definitely conditional, because there isn't any place here where I can make you a good cup of coffee to make sure you stay awake. Or even a cup of tea to relieve your tension. And of course, it's conditional……"

"That's enough, Kashi." Iruka laughed as he stood from his chair. "I get your point."

"Maa…… Since you said it's conditional love, I will need to list out the conditions present that shows how much I love you." The jounin grinned.

Iruka wrapped his arms around the copy nin's neck and leaned into the warmth. "Aren't you sappy?"

"And I thought you like it." Kakashi snaked his arms around the lean waist and smiled down at the younger man.

"Uh huh." Iruka nodded happily. "I have to admit that I missed it." He pulled down the jounin's mask and pressed a quick kiss on the lips before tugging the piece of cloth back in place and pulled back. "Shall we go?"

Kakashi let his arms lingered on the chunin's waist a little while more before he grinned. "Let's go."

Iruka turned and put his papers into neat stacks. The jounin stood beside him, helping him to put everything in place. The younger man stuffed the things that he would need into his bag and when he was done, he snapped the clasps and slung the bag across his shoulder. He picked up the stack of books on his table and turned to look at his lover.

"I'm done. Come on."

Kakashi took the books from him and held it in one hand. He draped his other arm loosely across his boyfriend's waist as they walked down the quiet corridor of the academy and stepped out into the streets. Iruka leaned in closer to the older man, as the arm tightened around him. He ignored the looks of surprise on the faces of the civilians and other shinobi in the area as they mingled into the crowd.

He knew that their reconciliation will become the topic of gossips for the weeks to come. He knew that Genma, Yamato and Raidou are going to probe into what exactly is going on and that Tsunade will jibe at them and laugh at their previous hesitations. He knew that when Naruto is back from his mission, he is going to frown and glare and start asking why he wasn't informed about that decision and Sakura will doubt their intention initially and then laugh and congratulate them after she hears the story. He knew Anko will not leave him alone for days and will demand a long explanation from him.

But he didn't care. Right now, all he knew was that, Kakashi was back with him. He knew that he had someone to go home to after a hard day at work. He knew he had someone who would be there to pamper him and take care of him and that Kakashi would be there to cheer him up, assure him, listen to him grouse, give in to him and most importantly, to love him.

Iruka smiled and turned to look at the older man who grinned at him and hugged him tighter as they discussed on which restaurant they should go for their takeouts. He listened as Kakashi told him about the errands he had done for Tsunade that day and all the funny incidents that took place. He groused when he related to Kakashi, the prank which Konohamaru had pulled that day, almost burning the classroom down to the grounds.

As they continued down the bustling streets, teasing and laughing, Iruka smiled at the realization.

Having his boyfriend to walk home with him, had never felt so wonderful before.

=-=-=-=

* * *


End file.
